Everybody Love Parfait

I went to Dunkin Donuts this morning (as every morning), but instead of a donut, I got a coffee bun the size of about 50 coffee buns. Now I have a stomachache and feel bloated. Tonight I'm seeing Shrek: the Musical, and I'm pretty sure it'll be like looking into a mirror for 2 hours.

I really wish someone would sign onto GChat who I can talk sexy with.

Oh look somebody just did:

Ryan: hi

me: What is UP!? Are you ready for tonights SHREKTACULAR performance!?!?!?

Ryan: I don't think I am, my friend

me: What do you mean?

Ryan: I mean, I can BARELY contain my excitement!

me: ... I don't get that one.
But I, for one, am getting OGRE-excited!

Ryan: well, I am going just to go
my expectations are very low
so it its good, that will be a pleasent surprise

me: what you mean to say, I assume is: "if it's good, that will be unexSHREKted!"
HAHAHAHA!
I slay.

That's how I talk sexy.