Was: Not a review

I just got Chinese food all over my copy of Was, which I've been reading for approximately 17 years because I can only read about 2 pages at a time during breaks from work and on subway rides. It's good, wordy, depressing... now also "spicy" and "tasty". And now that my Spicy and Tasty Chicken and Cold Sesame Noodles are in the fridge for tomorrow, I can get back to it.

During dinner, I did what I usually do when I'm two-thirds of the way through a book, and I went to read reviews. The only ones I could find were on amazon.com, which sucks for reviews because everyone except me is stupid. Everyone there decided to compare it to Wicked even though the two books have clearly nothing in common except they both say "Oz" a lot. It's funny how people can read a book that other people are reading (Wicked, The Da Vinci Code, Lord of the Rings) or see a movie or play everyone is seeing that's supposed to be good (Wicked, The Da Vinci Code, Lord of the Rings) and suddenly they're like total experts in literature and theatre, and everything gets compared to the two books they've read and maybe Charlotte's Web from childhood. And reading two things with a similar theme, character, or location? Oooh, hold on to your hats! It's time for Compare and Contrast! (You remember Compare and Contrast... it's from when you had to write those "impossible" 5-paragraph essays in the 4th grade.)

I only know three things about literature:

1) The Da Vinci Code sucks.
2) Emma Watson makes a better Hermione Granger than my imagination does.
3) Comparing Was to Wicked is like comparing Nightmare on Elm Street to Miracle on 34th Steet because they're both about streets.

One reviewer (candycanegirl) heartened me when I read the title of her review: "Not meant to be a comparison to Wicked!" But then in her review, she's all "Wicked will never, come close to the work of honest art contained in Was." Ho ho ho! candycanegirl is from South Bend, Indiana.

P.S. My job is awesome, and I'm so good at it because I figured out how to correct my glaring errors that I keep making without asking, so everybody thinks I did it right the first time!