I had one of those weird dreams last night that makes you reimagine your life, y'know those? They're so annoying.
Basically I was at a sort of gala that looked like the Oscars or Tonys, right, and I was with this sort of friend who I see at parties and stuff. We went out a few times in the early part of this year. But right, in the dream we were totally in love in a major way... like total vile disgusting mushy dulcet choir of little birdies love. It was so intense that the people at the gala called us up on stage to honor our affection. We were standing there and drinking champagne off to the side while some performance was going on, but the whole audience was captivated by our electricity and charisma as we gazed at each other lovingly. You'd vomit I'm not even kidding, it doesn't matter who you are you'd just hork all over the place if you saw it.
Anyway the point of the dream was not the person, it was the feeling. And it wouldn't mean anything if it were just this one time, but I have dreams like this AT LEAST TWICE A WEEK! On top of that, it's corresponding with all these other things in my head like a recurring daydream about decorating an apartment with someone and a disturbing drive a friend warned me about around my birthday: he said that 27 is the age he started.... I can barely even say it.... WANTING BABIES! Yeah, dudes, I actually see maybe the slight possibility of a baby-like shape on the WAY-WAY-DISTANT-SO-DON'T-EVEN-START-WITH-ME horizon. I was browsing for a Hannukkah gift to myself the other day and I actually thought "Do I want these $500 shoes or would I rather use the money for 10 minutes of private school?"
What am I becoming!?!?!?!?!?
Ok just kidding, it's not all that bad and not nearly so intense as I let on for the sake of keeping this shitty blog interesting. I am, however, dealing with a lot of new feelings because I'm coming out of an almost year-long funk and am feeling really good about every aspect of my life except not being a billionaire. There are three different things that have converged remarkably: 1) a renewal of hope that life will be big and wonderful, 2) an optimism that it can actually happen (this differs from #1, trust me), and 3) things in my life going kinda right. They all feed each other and make me kinda shiny happy, which is dangerous and scary and will probably grind to a halt and lead to my ultimate demise. So I hate it a little. But what can I do, I just feel good.
Anyway I'm not a sentimental person, so in conclusion, I'm drowning in my own barf.
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