Eavesdumping

Here.

It's a picture of me.

I went to a new cafe this week while wandering SoHo trying really hard not to be 3 hours early for Samfriend's brunch on Saturday. City Girl Cafe. Good coffee. That picture at the top is so obviously the city girl.

Oh and I got to watch a blind date happen and fail. So there was this guy sitting alone, right, and this girl walked in who clearly worked there and had a shift starting in like 2 hours. You could tell because she said so. She was talking to the other employees when that guy got up and asked if she was Sharon. She's like "No, Sarah. Blind date?" He said "Match.com. She actually looks a lot like you." Sarah says "Oh, I can't wait to see her if I'm still here."

About 15 minutes later, Sarah left and Sharon showed up. She was really pretty, but she looked like Sarah to the amount of ZERO unless you count the fact that they were both ASIAN! Good one, guy. I have an idea, why don't you tell Sharon all about her "twin" because she'll find it funny that you can't tell Asian people apart.

So he did. And she didn't.

Whatever, I eavesdropped and kinda tuned out for a while because the date was going well, and it was boring first-date conversation that I don't want to hear with people I'm out with let alone perfect strangers. Then I caught her say "So what exactly is it you do?" and I'm thinking "Oh, he must have an interesting job if she doesn't have an idea of what it is from his profile."

So I listened. And I watched as her eyes glazed over at the words "Well, my real passions are soccer and acting, so those are what I'd like to do." I've never read an Asian girl so perfectly. Everything about her face said "Oh, really? I was hoping for someone with a career." See because he's not an actor. He wants to BECOME an actor. A soccer-playing actor. Like a less-hot Andrew Shue.

Then she told a story about her dog, and pretty much once you start talking about your pets, you don't care how your first date is going anymore so I left.

And ended up an hour early to brunch, which was way fun and a total success because after that and holidays I am fat again see?

More later.

FWAP!

Y'know how sometimes life smacks you in the face and runs away cackling? Like you're walking by a shop window and smell fresh cookies and reminisce about your loving grandmother's baking until you remember she died in a kitchen accident. Or worse, you're at the store and one of the checkout boys is really cute and then you GET him and as he's ringing you up you look him up and down and at his pretty hair until you realize there's a tattoo of the Starship Enterprise on his arm.

That happened to me today. Not the first one, my grandma died with dignity. There was also an armband tattoo only instead of a faux Celtic pattern, it was Klingon.

Ok full disclosure it was the comic book store so I got what I deserved but honestly, you can like Star Trek but have a little -- again I say -- dignity.

Just kidding I'm thinking of getting a Harry Potter tattoo but a discreet one that you wouldn't know unless you were also a major loser ok thx bie.