Bum buh bum bah bum

Guess what, dudes and lady dudes! I saw Regina Spektor last night!

She's one of my favorite people to see perform live because of how absolutely comfortable she is with her music. She effortlessly alters and embellishes her songs on the spot, and it sounds so natural making her one of the few popular musicians out there who I watch and think "I sure wish I could do that."

Anyway enough praise, here's why the concert SUCKED because of the kid sitting next to me who showed up smelling like cigarettes and salami. When he wasn't e-mailing on his Blackberry because he's so important his friends can't be without him for 2 hours, he was flicking on and off the blinding glowstick thing that came in his drink, bouncing in his seat and shaking all the chairs, putting on some RANK-smelling hand lotion (3 times in an hour) that anyone who's ever HEARD the word allergy would react to, or SINGING ALONG but only at the high parts to prove "hey guys I love her best because I can do this" but all he proved was that he can sing higher than Regina because he was always sharp. I also caught him updating his twitter with misquoted lyrics from a song she had just finished.

I know that being 20 is like living in a different world and being high energy and caring about stuff that doesn't matter when you're older, and I know we were all horrible in our own ways at some point in our youths, but is there ever an excuse for being that much of an obnoxious asshole concert-goer? I mean except for that time when I laughed my way through that cello recital because the woman playing looked like a man and made so many stupid faces that I had to excuse myself, I've always known there are just some things that you don't ruin for other people no matter how immature you are.

So eff you, little queer salami cigarette and lavender boy! And eff that girl you were with who had a voice like Harvey Fierstein because that was creepy. At least they left before the encores so I could enjoy my favorite songs unmolested.

Anyway just kidding, the concert didn't really suck because of him because I am totally a bigger person pshhhh!

Oh and I forgot my camera.