There are three urinals. One, two, three. Pretend you are a man. You can be Man A. Man A (you) needs to pee. As Man A approachs the set of three (3) urinals, he must choose which one is right for him. During this approach, Man B (let's use me) enters the restroom. Man A's (your) choice has just been made quite a bit easier because of the Rules of Urinal Selection that every human male is born understanding. I provide here the relevant rule so you don't need to look it up at your local library:
Section IIa, Rule #5
When choosing a urinal:
a) from a set of three available and consecutive
b) when those three are the only three in the restroom
c) in the company of other men,
this is one case where second is not the best.
As a whole, this set of rules emphasizes distance and privacy. Choosing the second urinal means the person behind Man A (Manet... wait, no, I mean you) must choose one immediately adjacent to him. Unpleasantness like that can be avoided.
Perhaps you have seen through my clever charade of the hypothetical Manet and Man Bee to realize that this happened to me today, and I was Man B. Good on you. I don't get why people do this, but it freaks me out. I always pick the urinal farthest from anyone, and if that is impossible, the one nearest the person who looks like he's closest to being done. When alone, I choose one in a corner, preferably a corner furthest from the stalls. Urinal selection is a delicate process, but there is a clear correct answer to any given bathroom layout and occupation status. Today's Man A failed.
It is easier when a failing Man A is some icky man because I can just sort of go into myself, hunch my shoulders, and get it done. (I'm really good at peeing in public, by the way, no matter what this little diatribe might imply. Pee shy? Psh, why? Peeing is super fun, I'd never be scared of it. But that doesn't mean I like other people doing it near me.) Ok, what was I saying? Oh, right, so with icky guys it's ok. But today's Man A was this really hot blonde guy with awesome skin and perfect arms. So being right next to him was this major willpower challenge. "I wanna look.... I wanna look... I wanna look...." I mean... I had to see if he had a piece to back up his pretty face. But I resisted, and he went away.
Anyway, learn the rules, guys. Google them, I'm sure there's something there.
if they are hot you need to look
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