So I saw The Golden Compass last night finally, and I'm going to tell you about it.
Everyone was cast well, especially the little girl who isn't nearly as creepy as I thought she might be. She was actually fabulous and I wish I could be 11 again so we could be friends. Nicole Kidman was fine, in her breathy sotto voce kinda way. Kathy Bates, however, managed to claim the Fierce Diva Award with her portrayal of Hester, this jackrabbit thing. She had one scene and about 5 lines, but she pretty much stole the show. Horribly miscast was that ass ugly child they got to play Roger. I don't know what side of the swamp he came from, but the toads must be happy to see him go.
Moving on, don't expect a recreation of the book. The concepts in the novel are too complex and numerous, so a lot of the film ended up being really talky, but it was pretty ok anyway. The ending fizzled out into this schlocky "movie" ending with no sense of wonder or inquisition like in the book. Without reading the series, I have no idea why anyone would want to see the second movie. The last 5 minutes of this one were utter crap.
what happened to my breasts."
My number one gripe, however, was the level of violence. There wasn't enough. This movie would have been 1,000% better with a) blood and b) kids getting shot with arrows. Let's examine these two concepts.
First of all, there was no blood in the entire movie despite countless images of people getting mauled and stabbed and one scene where a bear gets his entire freaking face ripped off. Apparently the citizenry of this alternate universe survives on pure willpower because not a drop of anything was spilt the entire film. This is war on snow! The land should awash in the blood of the innocent!
Speaking of the blood of the innocent, there's one scene with a bunch of men in furry hats trying to 'get' a bunch of children, and this whole battle breaks out with witches flying about (as witches do) and shooting everyone with arrows. You're gonna tell me that not a single child dies in this bloodbath? I mean willpowerbath. So that was disappointing, along with the removal of one really important death of a child from the book, which is a proper plot point that I was sad to see go rather than disappointment due to my twisted, violent desires.
One thing that really stood out about The Golden Compass was the score by Alexandre Desplat. It was totally effective and exciting and blah blah all that. Imagine my surprise, then, when the movie fizzled out to the credits and instead of some rollicking overture, I was treated with some hippie Enya new age crap. "Oh Lyraaaaaaa..." It was pretty much the most shit song ever written. Thanks, Kate Bush. In case you don't know who she is, the picture on the right embodies everything that is right and wrong with her.
In conclusion, The Golden Compass is worth seeing only if you are already going to see it no matter what I say.
I concur. It was ok. Nothing better, nothing worse. Opportunity lost to make kids (and adults) think about all the complicated by essential things the books allude to. And a paean to atheism reduced to fighting polar bars. Though the fighting was cool, though. My question (SPOILER ALERT) is how are they going to kill The Authority in Film 3 without Middle America self-combusting and book-burning?
ReplyDeleteEek, you spoiled book three because I read it 5 years ago and forgot how it ended.
ReplyDeleteBut whatever. I just read the second one and didn't even remember that thing about The Authority in the first place... which is weird because it's the whole plot.
I for one welcome the book burning. Burning books makes people look crazy, and the crazies are fun to watch. And egg on.