In Which I Finally Realize My Name Rhymes with Snot

Y'know what's horrible? Watching your body slowly break down from disease until you waste away to nothing and all that's left is a shrivelly, bald, smelly mass of bones that doesn't even look like you! Has anybody ever experienced that?

Well I am right now! I have a cold. Two hours ago, I did not have a cold. Clearly, this is the end.

Usually when I get sick, it happens over night when my body is not paying attention. Rarely does an illness have the chutzpah to attack when I am at the ready. And NEVER has it had the AUDACITY to try and infiltrate my defences with the MIDNIGHT DARK KNIGHT PREMIERE JUST HOURS AWAY! This cold has some serious brass testes, which I will CRUSH if it in any way inhibits my enjoyment of tonight's blockbuster hit! I hope it's reading this.

Side note: Call me crazy, but isn't the luckiest koala in the world one that did NOT get hit by a car going 60 mph?

BEHOLD THE CITY!

So I have this new plan to get to know this city I've lived in for over two years and still know practically nothing about. Part of that plan entails exploring different places I've never been. Last Saturday I set out early and had a perfect day doing that.

Ok, first I went the The Kitchen to see this art exhibit, which was kinda bad because none of the abstract art had any sort of description, so I had no idea what the eff I was looking at. A few people meandered in, but nobody stayed long. People forget that most abstract and modern art doesn't really stand on its own. There weren't even titles, so I named them myself.

Hanging Disruption

Room of Disruption

The dreaded Box of Disruption

Ok now you know all about the future.

Also on Saturday I went to Battery Park because I had never been there before. It's pretty cool but a pain in the ass to get to considering the billions of places with trees I can walk to in 10 minutes. Let's see.

Here's some boats.

Here's some weird purple flowers.

Here's some birds eating high cholesterol foods.

Here's the time.

Here's some reality.

In conclusion, Battery Park City is just as touristy as everything else people outside the city can see on a map and say "I've heard of that", so if you're going to bring your camera, make sure you wear something "New Yorky" so other locals can identify you and not try to hit you on their rollerblades.

Ok, I gotta go. All this typing is making my nose run harder.