Macho Macho Man

Ok new rule NO CREEPY RELIGIOSITY ON THE SUBWAY!

So there was this woman across the subway from me reading and looking up at me now and then so I'm thinking "She thinks I'm cute or she thinks I'm a threat." Turns out it was none of the above because when the doors opened behind me and she was passing me to leave, I found out the book she was reading was the Bible because she closed it, looked at me meaningfully and touched the spine to my shoulder as if in blessing, warning, or condemnation. I'm like "Hello I didn't even open my mouth am I THAT FUCKING GAY!?!"

This isn't even the first time, once at the beginning of the summer I was walking to work and this cute Korean woman ran after me and got my attention. She was holding something out I figured I had dropped (why else would she CHASE me) but it was actually one of those Chick pamphlets all about Sodom and Gomorrah and the sin of homosexuality complete with drawings of tattooed, pierced, child-raping men all trussed up with perfect eyebrows. Even Jesus knows gay men have better eyebrows.

So ok I may not be the most manly man in all of Christendom, but I don't think I exude deviancy. I mean there are MUCH CREEPIER men in the world who are ALSO ugly and unclean and harass people and touch them, which is a much greater affront to the Lord. Whatever.

Here read this story. I can't decide whether crazy x-tians actually think vampires are real. Vote yes or no.