Happy Prattle

I'm gassy and broken out today, so I'm going to think about some positive things about this week. Here they are to brighten up your day too!

For one, I had a non-hellacious experience at D'Agostino's yesterday, which is pretty much unprecedented and might be considered a miracle but for the bottle of water I got not becoming wine. I went in, I found what I needed, I was undercharged for my marshmallows, and I left. No idiot employees. No moronic organization like how they hide the mayonnaise far away from all the other condiments. No babies, no old people, no inflated prices. It was almost like a regular grocery store!

You don't know how much I hate that place.

Secondly, I just found out that this boy exists, which pretty much makes the world livable again.

Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, the guy that hands out the Metro newspaper (alongside the A.M. New York, this is a free paper that everyone reads on the subway and leaves on the seat) told me I brighten up his morning every day! It made me so happy, and now we're best friends. He said it because even though I don't want his shitty paper, I always smile and say "No thank you." I don't know why I started doing that. I guess he has friendly eyes.

Anyway, my hard work paid off because now he thinks I'm fucking Mother Theresa. Sadly, since he said this to me, he has disappeared. It must be illegal for those newspaper people to have good personalities. The guy doing it now is as surly and in the way as all the others.

Question of the day: Why do we say "Does anyone have a magic marker?" What in hell is so magical about markers?

Also, read this. It's important.