First off, happy Groundhog Day. Let's hope that son of a bitch doesn't see his shadow because I've about had it with New York City's inability to salt its sidewalks. Seriously, all yesterday it was "Winter storm ice bullshit advisory OMG we interrupt this broadcast of the Nancy Grace show to tell you that she is a sensationalist bitch and also ice will fall from the sky all day and night" yet nobody decided to take measures until this morning.
My walk to the subway is uphill for 3 avenues, and there were times I got halfway down a block and had to turn around because the sidewalk was literally intraversable for being covered with ice. A little girl going the other way got on her butt and slid down 20 feet, and her mother, unwilling to degrade herself, scaled a snowbank into the street and STILL almost ate it trying to get to her daughter. The outdoor subway platform at Queensborough Plaza: solid ice. A man in hiking boots skated across and used his momentum to leap onto the train. It... it was pretty sweet.
Then I got to work to hear "yeah, whoever doesn't come in today can make it up." Thanks for the heads-up; I braved this crap for 1.5 hours with the remnants of yesterday's horrible migraine when I could've stayed home consequence-free. So with the exception of the actions of one precocious girl and one daredevil working man, I submit that nothing today has been handled properly.
Anyway I do have some good news, and that good news is I am way better than you because I have all three stars in every available level of Angry Birds and you don't. No autographs but if you do something nice for me, I'll put your number in my phone so you can be close to my victory that only took about 52 hours.
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