He'll make your dicky allllll sticky

They're keeping my cafe open for another couple of weeks, probably because the entire place is going to go under at that point, I don't care, at least I get my decent cafe for a little longer. I had the guy make me a peppermint hot chocolate today, and it was the best thing ever. Instead of using the pumps, he took the caps off the huge bottles and just dumped a bunch of syrups into my cup and then added like a teaspoon of steamed milk, I felt like I was in Candyland.

Speaking of Candyland, this is a picture of Mr. Mint, who was pretty much my idol growing up. I always thought we had a lot in common because we were both tall and thin and cute, but now I think it mostly is because he's a total queer.

I'd suggest that I be him for Halloween, but it would be way too hard. It's too bad because this bitch needs to be brought back into popular culture. He is totally underrepresented. Even a Google image search brings up shit on him, one where he looks like some goofy cherub reject and the other, which you see here that I even had to crop some shit out of.

I have even more reverence for Mr. Mint than I do for Grimace, and I have a freaking Facebook group in honor of Grimace. The next paragraph is where I say awesome things about Mr. Mint.

Mr. Mint is awesome. Getting to Mr. Mint is half the fun. What can Mr. Mint do for you? Mr. Mint is the champagne of ginger ales. Mr. Mint thinks outside the bun. Only Mr. Mint can prevent forest fires. The answer is Mr. Mint. Now what was the question? Mr. Mint flies the friendly skies. Mr. Mint is the top banana in the west. Mr. Mint feels the warmth and luxury that he deserves. It's Mr. Mint, stupid. Mr. Mint is the mark of a man. If you don't show up in a Mr. Mint, don't bother showing up at all.

I hope I used his name enough times to be the top of every Google search by now. I'd say more, but I gotta go home. Make sure you go do something Mr. Mint related today or I should be very cross with you.