I'm in a crabby mood because I'm tired and don't feel like working and also because everyone in the world is stupid and I hate them! Sometimes when I'm crabby, I take it out on strangers.
I sit by the office phone, so I'm always the one answering it and telling everyone they have a call. Sometimes it's annoying, but most of the time it's fun because I get to pretend I know everyone's business even though I honestly try extra-special hard not to listen to their conversations.
But lately, we've been getting all these calls with "Can I speak to the owner of the residence?" and I'm always all nice saying "Actually, this is a business" and then sometimes they apologize, and sometimes they just hang up and suck.
But it happened again today and I was in the middle of a conversation and feeling curmudgeony anyway, and so when he said "Can I speak to the owner of the residence?" I went into Bitch Mode 2.0:
Ok, this is a business. You guys have called a thousand times, and I always say the same thing. Cross this number off your little list and stop calling it.
Oh, this is a business? Well, does the building have a mortgage on it? [Fucking idiot.]
What? I have no idea, but I guarantee that you have no business with me or this organization. This is the wrong number. Don't call us again.
Then I hung up the phone and imagined ways to violently kill him. Does anyone else want to help me consolidate my mortgage today!?!!!
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