Why Being Sick Sucks

Because it always happens at the worst possible time like when you have three houseguests or when you were totally looking forward to partying with Stuart on St. Patrick's Day weekend or when that nice boy you've known for a while finally showed an interest and asked you 3 times to do something on Saturday. This time it was all of these.

Because you hadn't "accrued" enough sick time at work, like they have the fucking right to tell you when you're allowed to be sick and how many times a year, so you have to waste your vacation time and now can't take that trip to Dallas you've been planning until a month later than you wanted.

Because you spent a sizable amount of money on a new Hugo Boss jacket and a nice shirt and tie only to have to cancel your opera plans at the last minute and later have your friend tell you how awesome it was and how perfect the 10th row orchestra seats were.

Because nobody sent you flowers and balloons AS REQUESTED so now their silverware is all toxic.

Because the gnomes didn't come and finish all your work while you were away.

Because sitting on your couch and relaxing used to be nice but now after that's all you did for 5 days it's totally ruined and sitting there just reminds you of how sick you were.

Because the world doesn't get put on hold like your life does so when you finally come out of it, everything's all different and things have happened and people have changed and it's hard to get back N*SYNC with everything that's going on like new inside jokes and who likes who and what happened over the weekend and all that. That's the hardest part of it, really. When you're sick, everyone feels sorry and does things for you and tells you to take your time and get better. But then when you're better, nobody cares about you anymore and they all expect you to catch up immediately and WHY ARE YOU BEHIND and THAT'S SO OVER and YOU MISSED YOUR CHANCE that you start to think "Get well soon" really means "Get well before it's too late."

Because you know this happens every time so how can you possibly relax and get better when your relaxation is precluded by the stress and utter lack of sympathy waiting for you when you're done? You can understand why that happens, I mean 5 days ago they saw you and you were not sick and today they see you and you are not sick. Why feel sorry for you?

Being sick is as much a psychological toil as it is physical. Do the recently ill a favor. Allow a few missed phone calls. Let them be behind at work for a week or two. Give them another chance to say yes to a night out. They're jumping onto a moving train. It takes a moment to regain balance.