Short Circuit

I don't know what a "circuit party" is, but I discovered this weekend that I'm afraid of them.

I went out on Saturday with Stuart, and we had a super-fun time and both looked really cute so we kept meeting people. Early in the night, there was this little tiny short kid with a pretty face and neat hair who was in from Boston and had this friend. We all went to Mr. Black where I made out with the boy in that ill-advised drunken way. It wasn't my fault, he kept saying all these insightful things that were really sweet and like he really cared about me. My brain was like "The only reason this kid gives a shit is because he's so full of shit" but my body, face, and penis were in charge, so that's why we made out anyway. It was weird, he weighed like 90 pounds. I could lift him, I felt like such the iron man.

Anyway later he was hitting on some chubby kid so I was like "Wow, over you" but then this old yucky smelly man started hitting on me, so I told him the short kid was my boyfriend but we were in a total fight because he kept hitting on other people. The yucky man asked if I ever did that as if to say "You can cheat with me", so I acted all appalled and moral highground like "I would never fool around on him, if we're not meant to be that's fine but I'm not going to flirt with other people until we work out our situation." In the Game of Life, you get bonus points if you can reject someone and make them feel morally inferior at the same time.

Anyway at this point it was a billion o'clock in the morning and I didn't even know the name of the bar we were at, but I met the two awesomest people. They were bestest friends and each in relationships, so it wasn't some flirty thing, which was the best part. They were super the funnest and we talked outside and one went home and the other, Sabio (coolest name ever), was all "Let's go to the Black party" which is apparently this huge thing, I dunno. I was full of energy and considered it, but it was $40 and then he said last year he saw a kid sit on a bowling ball until it went inside him. I tried to act all cool like that was just mildly interesting but nothing special, but on the inside I was dying. Maybe it's because I'm prudish or maybe it's because I'm a librarian, but I kind of assumed I'd feel really uncomfortable at this party. Also I hate seeing penises in public, and I figured there would be a few. So we took a cab to the place because it got me closer to home, but Stuart and I went away.

Anyway Sabio if you're out there I'm sorry we didn't go with you, but you were super fun and so was your friend with the less unique name. It's not you, it's me.

So I've still never experienced a circuit party and I probably never will and I'm wondering if that makes me some sort of loser and what does "circuit party" even mean? Does it refer to general debauchery, or is there some more specific meaning perhaps involving bowling balls?