10-4 30w

So last week I was walking into work and they were having one of their security meetings where all the guards stand around in the hallway and get their assignments for the upcoming week or something. Anyway, they're all anal about us wearing these stupid ID cards for some reason because I guess that makes the library a safer place even though we all know each other's faces anyway.

Anyway, I always have my ID in my hand (there's usually nowhere to clip it because I don't wear fancy shirts with pockets and ties) but fine. I was wearing a zip-up hoodie sweatshirt that day because I am a shlub and I was walking with my ID in my hand and the head of security eyes it as I'm casually placing my hands in my shirt pockets in order to look more emo.

I saw him see it, but he stopped me and said "Where's your ID?" in this rude, condescending tone. "Oy, here we go," I think, so I removed my hands from my pocket and said "It's right here" all innocent-like. He goes: "You're supposed to wear it on the outside" with that same asshole tone like I'm 10 years old and he's fucking Sir High Officer Muckety-Muck in charge of saving the world from a nuclear holocaust. But I keep my cool and say "I know, I will as soon as I get upstairs and take my sweatshirt off." It was a lie, but it was totally logical because why would I wear that ugly hoodie all day?

Yeah, but he's all "You should be wearing it when you walk in the building" (the rude tone continued) so I had had enough and figured if he's gonna treat me like a miscreant teenager, I'll act like one so I said "Ooookaaaay," like a crabby 15-year-old and then I put the ID back in my pocket and walked away.

It was such crap, nobody ever wears their ID and he never gives them shit but suddenly because he's standing in front of his loyal toadies he has to embarass me for the sake fo some pissing power trip? As if.

Anyway I felt like I won even though I didn't because it required me acting like an immature brat, but part of me felt liberated.

Then a few days later I saw him in the cafe downstairs and I know the girl behind the counter, and he's the type of guy who thinks he's friends with everyone so we were both talking to her and he introduced himself to me as if I didn't hate him. Fine.

But today he made it all better because we were in the cafe again and he was talking to the girl. I wasn't listening because I was putting milk in my tea, but suddenly he turned around, pointed to me, and said "If only we could all be skinny and good-looking like this guy here." Then he asked me "What are you, 19?" So then he was my best friend and I smiled and said "I'm 24."

So I forgive him now because a) he complimented me, but also b)cause I realized the reason he was treating me like a kid that day was because he thought I WAS a kid, so it made sense even though being a dick to a teenager is just as rude as being a dick to me.

But mostly I forgave him because I'm shallow and he drew everyone's attention to my waist, which is one of my favorite parts.