Chris, whose blog I stalk, mentioned that horrible deaths happen in threes.
Brad "Huck" Renfro, teen dreamboat who, when I was 13 or so, made more than just my heart throb, and Heath Ledger, who didn't need to star in a movie for me to imagine him screwing Jake Gyllenhaal, both died needlessly this month. Chris asks "who's next?" but my question is more specific: Which masturbatory fantasy is next to be rendered flaccid with images of decomposing, drug-wasted faces and guilt pangs about disrespecting the dead?
I'm running out of ammo here! ... wait wow no, let me rephrase that. I'm running out of fodder here!
Listen up, God! I've decided to believe in you for a few minutes so I can something off my chest. You didn't make up ALL the rules, and you seem to have forgotten some. For one, the young and the pretty do not die suddenly of drug overdoses. If that's gonna happen, it has to happen slowly like with Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Amy Winehouse. We want slow decay and a media circus long enough so that we're no longer attracted to the victim and are happy to be able to talk about something else. Thanks. Ok, go back to what You were doing; I'm gonna forget about You again.
Anyway, it is with a heavy heart that I announce my candidates for the next Hot Celebrity Drug Overdose:
Ryan Gosling -- I admit he looked a little better when he was younger, but he's still pretty, he's a good actor, and his "Young Hercules" was sort of a bridge between Renfro in my youth and Ledger in my young adulthood, not to mention that the show is in the same box as Ledger's "Roar." If you haven't seen Young Hercules, then... well that's really ok. Anyway, for me he has too much in common with the two who already ate it. HIGH RISK
Johnny Depp -- It would be SO LIKE this asshole world to take my man from me. He's too talented, too hot, and too smart. SUPER HIGH RISK
Eric Bana -- Eric is my current Sexiest Man Alive, and thanks to a new friend, I have an entire folder of pictures of him on my desktop. For the record, I prefer him "with beard" but when he shaves it, I'm ok with that too because my love transcends the physical. If he died, I'd kill myself, and that's probably why he's HIGHEST RISK
So say goodbye. There's another week and a day left until the end of January, which I've decided is the cutoff. I want to be proven wrong.
I am still so upset with the news about Heath Ledger. He was such a gorgeous boy, although apparently he was looking pretty rugged (and not in a sexy way) a couple of months before he died. No matter, it's a terrible loss.
ReplyDeleteIf Johnny Depp is next, might as well say that bad things come in fours, because I would just die if that happens. I hope your estimations are wrong :(
I do not ..For one second think Ryan was better looking when he was younger! I think he looked like a total dork..Like that picture you have posted..But hey.. I guess that's just my opinion..
ReplyDeleteHeath was such a hottie.. I think I am going to rent "A knights tale"
And awe over him one more time.. I had such a crush when I seen that movie..But I mean you have to feel sorry for anyone who passes who has a young child... What a waste ..He was only 28... But I guess the whole world is saying the exact same thing.. Do you ever feel weird given the fact that thousands of people die every day.. Children..ect.. And we could give a shit..But some rich cute boy dies cause he popped too many pills and we are so upset... I mean don't get me wrong..I feel the same as you do about the whole thing..It's just after thinking about it..I don't know this guy.. And I feel a little silly..
It won't be Johnny Depp...I hear he leads a pretty clean life. Therefore, Gosling...cuz I've never heard of Bana.
ReplyDeleteHavoc -- I hope I'm wrong too. Hope. Pretty sure I will be too. 100% in fact. ... maybe 99.
ReplyDeleteTerrible Lie -- I liked Gosling him when I was younger, so his old self kinda speaks to that and therefore appeals to me. He DID look like a dork, though. Also, mourning for perfect strangers we happen to see on screen can be considered silly... but impact is impact, and I feel no shame.
Bagel -- If you've never heard of Eric Bana, I have nothing more to say to you.
I've heard of him from you is all. He has entirely too much beard.
ReplyDeleteI did like Black Hawk Down, tho.
OMG, I thought I was the only one who spanked it to Ledger in Roar! Awesome!
ReplyDeleteMy vote goes to Omri Katz.
I would feel like a child molester if I found that picture of Ryan attractive anyway..But that's just me and because of his age.. I like MEN.. Heath was a sexy bitch..I mean MAN..
ReplyDeleteEric Bana has JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT of beard. Like Baby Bear.
ReplyDeleteOmri Katz is a good guess. I'd have to watch Hocus Pocus in remembrance.
Ryan Gosling is all man in that picture. Only a real man could wear that shirt and that hair and not fear getting his ass kicked.
Don't get me wrong..Oh he's a sexy bitch today.. I watched him in Fracture a few months ago.. And he was sooo hot in that movie..
ReplyDeleteYou know who I find extreemly gorgeous is Ryan Reynolds!!
RYAN REYNOLDS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!! Oh my God, I always forget about him, but when I remember it's like the world stops. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteSpank It
ReplyDeleteahh.
Oh my God. That is the hottest thing I have EVER seen!
ReplyDelete