Hey does anybody remember when Hanson was popular? Yeah, it was about the same time Joey Fatone was attractive, so just shy of never. Sadly, with a series of not-quite-hits and a fandom that does not age along with them, one of Hanson's late-blooming but only assets has developed silently beneath the radar.
That asset is the Hotness of Taylor Hanson.
The first person to whom I confessed this secret lusting (my friend Sam) thought I was crazy and that Taylor Hanson is going the way of Donald Trump. Yes, with the sexy blonde (real) hair, angular features, smooth skin and fuck-me eyes, Donald Trump really does have a simliar appeal to the middle Hanson kid. :-\ Seriously, if anyone can see the resemblance, PLZ speak up.
For the rest of us, I suggest we sit back and gaze upon Taylor's dirty-ish sexiness. It's the kind of sexiness that would make out with you at the back of an indie rock concert or squeeze your knee while having boring shop conversations with fellow musicians to remind you he knows you're there and will have lots of sex with you later to make up for ignoring you now. It's hot without having that Fruity Microbrew look that's just so awful.
Try to forget that he's been married for a while and has like 19 children already. It ruins the image, but not too much because fatherhood is sexy. Fact. I can prove it: a) it means a man is virile, and b) pregnancy doesn't make men fat. It only makes women fat.
The major drawback to Taylor Hanson is that he's so often pictured with his brothers, Horseyface and the Fat Kid. I'm gonna suggest you crop them in Photoshop or draw smileys over the faces in MS Paint before adding those shots to your little folder of hot guy pics I know you all have on your computers.
I know Taylor Hanson may not be everybody's first choice for a celebrity bone, but you can't deny that he gives you a tiny bit of that down-low tickle. Am I wrong?
I am experiening a dearth of tingliness, and puffiness.
ReplyDeletepost half naked adrien brody's please.
no one wants to see washed up 90's rockers with bad hair. ever.
now, back to my puffiness....
xo,
WDL
Not happening here
ReplyDeleteSorry, I didn't realize being too ugly to cast in anything people give a shit about for the past 5 years was the way into your heart.
ReplyDeleteIf I do an abyssmal M. Night Shayamalan movie and a classic monster movie shitstorm knockoff, THEN will you have sex with me?
um, yeah. and you don't have to do any of those things. duh!!
ReplyDeletexo,
WDL
Eew, don't say things like that to me in public! I'm trying to get a boyfriend here!
ReplyDeleteoh, my bad. should I point out we are HUNDREDS OF MILES APART??
ReplyDeleteand I'm trying to land an attorney, not a librarian.
xo,
WDL
OMG I can't believe you don't want me after all that we've shared.
ReplyDeleteQ: Can you win in this conversation?
A: No.
Don't make this into a pissing match. I always win. ALWAYS.
ReplyDeleteok, most of the time. And its because I complain a lot.
And I can't let on to my TRUE feelings online. My G-d. I might as well start an emo blog.
xo,
WDL
Emos don't worship Gee Dash Dee. They worship the void inside.
ReplyDelete(I worship Waddle Dee.)
you mean Sandra Dee?
ReplyDeleteI don't mean to disturb the lovely conversation going on here (I guess neither of you own phones?) but I just popped in to say I prefer the "horse-face" brother.
ReplyDeleteJust call me Modigliani.
Modigliani -- We own phones. We just can't talk on them during work and at 6 in the morning.
ReplyDeleteAnd you're not alone. I've had a few people make the same comment. Since my body dysmorphic disorder makes me think I look like him a little, I'll take it as a compliment.
...i can't see the donald resemblence...at all. But, yes Taylor Hanson in incredibly sexy, & I actually think his brothers are too. Zac Hanson is not at all fat & Isaac looks better then ever. All 3 of them are exceptionally attractive.
ReplyDeleteThey've had a couple ablums out since the 90s (Underneath, The Walk)all of which have much better songs than MMMbop. I suggest you check some of the songs out, I personally think they're brilliant.