Lent Ills

SO, Lent, right? Lent came early this year, made more apparent by the fact that New York has had no snow worth mentioning and only a couple of really cold days, so it feels like winter's not even underway and everyone should be putting up Christmas trees. On Wednesday otherwise normal people we walking around the city with crap on their heads, apparently as an act of repentance. Granted this is no more retarded than the Jews' tradition of throwing rocks into the water, but isn't repentance supposed to be, y'know... repentant? Flogging, apology letters, and emo self-mutilation are repentant. Putting dirt on your face is just dirty.

I like the idea of Lent because I'm amused by the fact that people believe some omnipotent being creator of the universe type is going to give a rat's shit if they stop eating sweets for a month. Yeah, I know it's to signify Jesus' life in the desert when he resisted the temptations of Satan for 40 days, but what I want to know is what temptation was there in the first place? It's a freaking desert. Other than feverish masturbation, there aren't a whole lot of sins to commit, and after a couple days in the sun, I'm pretty sure one's desire to wank is automatically quelled by heavy sunburn and dehydration.

And seriously, if you're going to emulate Jesus' restraint, then you should resist the ENTIRE lure of Satan. I love that the people who say "I'm giving up salty things!" or "I'll stop having sex!" will still commit every other sin to which they are accustomed and continue to curse out people on the subway and smack their wives and stuff. You can't be like Jesus, ok? Quit pretending.

I did Lent one year. When I announced this, everyone was all "OMGWTF, you're a Jew" but they didn't understand that I had this all worked out. For Lent, I gave up Judaism!

It was pretty easy. About as easy as my friend who gave up cake but not frosting. I half-assedly tried to curb my Yiddish exclamations, which were spare in the first place, and I didn't light a single Hannukkah candle. I didn't feel much closer to God in the end, but as a post-modern experiment, I think it went fairly well. (I can't define post-modernism, so don't bitch at me if I'm misusing the term because I don't care.)

But I still hold that giving up personal sins for Lent is largely pretty lame. So many pious traditions are so self-involved. So instead, I want to encourage people to instead observe the "charity" portion of Lent that seems to get left out most of the conversations. Charity's hard because it's money, but there are other ways to put something into the world. Make something!

That's what I'm doing. Yeah, so I've decided to to Lent again, only this time, I'm not giving up anything (except perhaps eating an entire bag of Oreos like last night.) This year, I'm going to try and make something every day for 40 days even if it's really stupid and pathetic.

Yesterday, I made a slideshow so my friend could see the world. (I'm linking to it in another entry, so hold you horses.) Wednesday was before I had this great idea, so I didn't make anything that day. Unless you count how I made fun of that guy whose ash smudge looked like a smiley face.

Anyway, I'll probably fail because everybody fails at Lent, but at least I don't really think God's paying attention to me.

What are you guys doing for Lent?