One Bird, Many Stones

Ugh YOU GUYS I'm in a shitty mood now because I just watched this movie that makes me upset.

Ok, so I was 14, right, and I caught the middle of this movie on TV where this woman totally gets stoned to death by her family and neighbors as part of some stupid yearly tradition, and it really bothered me. The image stuck with me for years of this poor woman in her ugly blue dress and her poor pretty daughter in her ugly green dress and it would make me sad every time I thought of it.

But I sorta forgot about it eventually, y'know, but a couple weeks ago at work it came up in conversation and I just had to Netflix the movie to torture myself and relive this horrible upsetting memory.

Felicity? Topanga.

You've probably guessed already that it's a movie adaptation of Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery" starring Keri Russell as the girl in the ugly green dress. Anyway, I just watched it and it UNSURPRISINGLY bought back all those horrible feelings.

But what made it even worse this time is that it's a SHITTY TV MOVIE like beyond normal shitty TV movie quality. Luckily it stars this ABSOLUTELY DREAMBOAT SEX MAN (who's ugly now, so I'm not posting a link) so that made it a little less boring. It also starred Mr. Feeney from Boy Meets World as the preacher. "No Mr. Matthews, you cannot pour your father's ashes on your mother's grave!"

The point is it's one thing to get sentimental over disturbing images in a compelling film, but it's another to weep over some shitstorm of a TV movie. C'mon, me, Lifetime Original much?

Then I tortured myself more by listening to the original story afterwards, which is just like the movie except of ACTUAL quality. Luckily the little commercial at the end of the recording completely destroyed any effect the poignant ending may have had.

I forgot where I was going with this. In conclusion, try not to have feelings.