It only takes two muscles

Don't type "lol" after things that are not funny. For example, if I ask you what you are doing, do not respond with "eating cereal lol." In fact, I'd prefer you did not type "lol" at all, but since it is such an established institution in this crazy galaxy we call cyberspace, I suppose we must all make allowances. If a legitimate cause for expressing laughter arises (as not exemplified above), however, I should like to recommend the following alternative:

The emoticon.

While potentially just another overused Internet device plaguing otherwise respectable communication forums such as instant messenger, livejournal, and Harry Potter message boards, the emoticon conveys any of numerous subtle emotions on which exclusive lol- and rofl-users miss out. Happy, sad, confused, enigmatic, embarassed, whatever mood or tone you wish to attach to your words, there is an emoticon just for you!

Emoticons do more than convey emotions. Oh yes! They transform your computer screen into a virtual looking glass through which you can simulate one-on-one interaction. Body language without the body! It is the 21st-century version of "Her lips say no, but her eyes say yes." The astute emoticon user can fully eliminate that new-age old problem of mixed messages as a result of your chat partner reading your words in the incorrect tone of voice. "No, that was a joke." "What are you talking about, I'm trying to be serious here!" "No, see, that was my sarcastic voice." These are statements of the past.

Most importantly, emoticons are honest... well, as honest as a face, at least. Yes, emoticons can still lie, but that's just part of how we communicate. Sometimes you just gotta slap on a smile and care about yet another story involving the superlative intelligence of your coworker's baby. "Awesome, he's so young to know his alphabet! They'd better save him a spot at Harvard! :-D"

Actually, that was sarcasm. Your baby's not going to Harvard. The emoticon lies. But even the intentional subtle deception of a wisely-used emoticon is nothing compared to the audacious hyperbole of "lol", "rofl", and the dreaded Roffle Mao. If I make a little joke or share a cute play on words, don't you dare claim to be rolling on the floor laughing your ass off (roflmao) because you know and I know that you're full of shit. Perhaps you smiled. Maybe you even eked out a little chuckle, but if you seriously fell out of your chair and are now lying prone on the floor in fits of hysteria, you a) have obviously never been introduced to the concept of humor and b) have some mad typing skills. Last time I was rolling on the floor in tears from laughter, I was unable to find the "roflmao" button on my keyboard.

Emoticons. Learn them, use them, wear them out. The come in all forms: standard, anime, little yellow faces. They will enhance your online communication experience, and more importantly, you won't sound to all your friends like some sort of mental patient spending the morning with his hilaaaaarious corn flakes.