I Am Michael Finnigan Begin-Again

All good things must come to an end. All of them. Luckily, this blog is not good. It is shitty. So it has not come to an end. I just took a break.

Nothing's happened. What ever does? For these weeks, I've felt the desire to describe nothing I observed in the world. Or rather... I've felt no desire to describe anything. There was definitely a LACK of feeling involved.

But my Spring Awakening entry has been getting a lot of attention lately, and I've also had some friends remind me how awesome they erroneously believe I am, so I'm back. And fatter than ever.

More to come. Soon. I promise.

in the what? : February 2007

I was looking back at my blog archives this morning, and I realized that I used to write a hell of a lot more. I'd have these entries with actual words and more than one of them a week even. It was this GOLDEN AGE.

So new goal: do that again. But not right now. Instead, let's take a trip back.

February 2007 Archives

Went on a date with a hot Icelander but was too culturally retarded.

I am Britney Spears with a cat

Chinese people are crazy

Asshole cab experience makes me hate brown people.

Will you be my Valentine?

Welcome Class of 2022!

After all my effort to provide sub-quality entertainment to the lowest common denominator, I am proud to announce the following:

Booyah, grandma! Doing my part to keep America illiterate!

Out to Lunch

I'm on a sort of internet sabbatical. There are other things I want to be doing these days both in and out of work, and there's no use forcing myself to do the blog thing (reading and writing) because none of it would come out right. My muse has left me. But I will be back soon, mostly like on Sunday to cry over the new Harry Potter book.

That said, I still obsessively check my stats because I am lame like that. And I wanted to share my top five incoming searches for the past 7 days because I think they provide a nice self-portrait. They are, in order:

1. beautiful men
2. hot gay men
3. ginny weasley
4. attractive men
5. candyland

And I guess that pretty much sums me up.

Who's it all about?

For the second time, Best Gay Blogs made my site traffic spike. This is both good and bad.

It was because of this little entry. Apparently I'm difficult to categorize. The traffic was good because nobody reads my shitty blog, so traffic spikes give my Feedburner bar graph these little erections.

The traffic was bad because everyone's first impression of me is as the Cat Terrorist. Incidentally, the cat is back. This means I'm not a bad person because actions are only wrong if there are consequences.

Anyway, back to the categorization of my blog. I want to talk about this because it is what I do for a living. I put things in order and assign them categories. I even went to a special school to learn how.

Anyway, I think I am most clearly "Personal blogs" only because "Self-gratifying blogs" isn't on the list. Nor is "Blogs nobody reads because they don't say anything and have no consistent theme or voice," though perhaps "Really mediocre blogs" covers that. I have nightmares of being in that category. Little demons chase me around a minefield yelling "We don't have a firm opinion because you are not worth our consideration!" and they throw little pieces of wet toilet paper at me.

Anyway, you should all go to the site and talk about me. None of you will, but neither will I. Whatever, my blog trancends labels. I am in my own category and none of you are allowed in.

Wow, that really degenerated.

Walrus Taco Fairydust

Well, it would seem my site statistics are down to their usual piddly levels now that I'm no longer a celebrity. I guess all those people who visited me only liked me for my featured article, I GUESS I'M NOT WORTH SUBSCRIBING TO OR READING OR TELLING ALL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT!!!! Whatever, I don't read your shitty blogs either.

As punishment, I am going to tell you about my cat. Her new favorite activity is called Licking the Bedspread, and I don't know why, but it's all she likes to do now. I thought maybe she was trying to clean it like how she licks my hair when I don't shower, so I washed it yesterday, but she's still doing it. Also, when she eats she sometimes likes to push the food out of the bowl onto the floor before she eats it, probably so she can pretend it's alive and trying to get away, but sometimes she forgets it's food and she beats it all over the house like a toy, and she apparently is doing it a lot more the past few days because when I get home, there is cat food all over the place and she is licking the bedspread.

Here's a link about cat brains. Don't click on it if you don't like pictures of cats with no fur or eyeballs.

This is your final warning, if you guys don't make me famous right away, I'm going to make every blog entry stupid like this and then we're going to play Clockwork Orange where I'm the scientist and you're the psycho with his eyes forced open and all you get to do is read my blog archives all day until you stop impeding my inevitable stardom.

Featurette

Holy Sudden Spotlight, Batman! They like me! They for reals like me!

Last week, I listed your favorite blog (this one) on the Best Gay Blogs blogroll because I am vain and require attention. Great. So what's the first thing they do? Well obviously they feature one of my posts on their main page because it is an important piece of gay blogging history! I am such the up and coming writer!

So indulge me and check out my post on their site even though you've already read it here. You should also do it to remind yourself of how cute I look in that picture. I'm the one who doesn't have red hair that's only that way for a role in a play.

I'm also listed on the Newbie of the Week list. "Creative and well written." Didja hear that? I'm creative and well-written. In yo' collective faces!

It's pretty amazing what can happen when you abandon your stupid, insignificant, glib style to write an entry about something that requires a bit of thought. But don't expect it to happen again soon, I got shit ta do!

So anyway, I want to give a big fat hard THANK YOU to Best Gay Blogs for the most blog traffic I've ever had. Keep it up, I'm depending on you guys for my big publishing deal.

Attn: Feeders

A quick PSA for my most devoted fans--namely, those who actually subscribe to my feed in an aggregator.

So I recklessly switched to Blogger Beta the other day, which apparently has all these new features including way awesome template options, but to use them involved ditching my current template altogether, and the new options aren't dynamic enough to make my blog look how I want it. Well, maybe they are dynamic enough, but they also require effort on my part, so.... whatever.

The point is, switching caused my feeds to restart themselves. I don't understand it, but it seems to have happened to everyone who switched to Blogger Beta because all their feeds in my Bloglines have the dreaded Exclamation Point of Error next to them. One disappeared from my aggregator altogether, which I don't fully understand.

The point is, my feed is now http://inthewhat.blogspot.com/atom.xml

I kinda thought that's what it was before, but apparently not. Go resubscribe. Bloglines users can use this handy button that I updated:

I also fixed the one in the sidebar. K thx.