My stupid hat

I hate my stupid hat. Today I didn't have time to shower because I layed in bed doing nothing for and hour and a half after my alarm went off, but I also slept on my head funny so my hair was REALLY weird and I couldn't fix it, so I'm wearing my hat today.

My friend Kim used to like it when I wore my hat because it meant I was dirty. I don't wear it anymore though because even when I'm dirty, my hair still usually looks ok. But not today, so I'm wearing my stupid hat, and it's red and I can only wear it backwards or it shows off how big my head is. Since I wear it backwards and my hair sticks out of it in the front and on the sides, and since I am girly and gay and have no testosterone so I never developed a masculine jaw or broad shoulders, my hat makes me look like a 10-year-old.

And since I look like a 10-year-old, I pretty much just wanna act like a 10-year-old and eat pizza and not do work and sit around and talk about whatever stupid crap 10-year-old boys talk about. And I want to play video games.

So I'm going to leave work early because I've sat here doing nothing the whole time anyway. And I'm going to go get the cold pizza out of the fridge at my other job and eat it, and I'm gonna go home to start packing for my trip, but really, I'm probably just going to play the Sims and read my crappy book. (I read a lot as a 10-year-old, so it's ok.) And then I'm going to get a shamrock shake and drink the whole thing.

And then I'm going to take a shower and get dressed in something that is not my hat and this t-shirt and my red shoes so I can look like a 21-year-old just in time to go out and get drunk for St. Patrick's Day. And I'll hang my stupid red hat on the wall and let it wait another six months until I need another lame excuse to be irresponsible and fat and to relive the glorious days of my youth, which are pretty similar to the glorious days of my adulthood except I feel the need to blog about them.

I love my stupid hat.