I Got Hit On (Hopefully a more regular segment)

I just got hit on at Starbucks because I am a sexy Adonis-breath and you are not.

He was alright looking, but I was more alright looking and he knew it and I could tell he was staring while we were waiting for our drinks, and he was kind of inching over and building up courage. It was totally adorable in a zero self-confidence, odd shoes kinda way. He finally leaned over and said "Why is it that we're the only people who have ordered drinks in the last 5 minutes, yet they're making stuff that's not ours and it just sitting there?"

From Flickr.

Typical flirting technique: Stock Conversations. Whining about service at Starbucks counts as stock because it requies absolutely no wit to observe. It's as creative as putting clip art on a homemade birthday card and just as effective, but I gave this guy a pass on account of being on a timeframe and because I hadn't given him any eye contact beyond the initial 'Oh You Like Me So I Will Smile So You Keep Looking Because I Feel Fat Today' glance.

Anyway, I was all "I think it's part of the Starbucks Experience" and he was all "Huh huh, yeah." And then he said "I don't mean to be impertinent--" (then don't say anything impertinent) "--but I was noticing that those pants look really good on you.'

Then it was my turn to be Awkward Loser Boy because I said "Yeah. Thanks. They're jeans."

Yeah, great. They're jeans. Stupid. But it was hard! Usually I return a compliment with a compliment, but I couldn't think of anything to say! I didn't like any of his clothes. Plaid! What do you want? Nice 5-o'clock shadow?

But whatever my drink came and I said "Oh, yippie, I beat you!" and then I took it and left with a "See ya!" which translated to "Haha, you didn't move fast enough to give me your number which is fine because I didn't want it bye!"

Getting hit on in public is my favorite thing even if it's from people I'm not remotely into like today. It's well-lit, nobody's drunk, people usually aren't trolling the Starbucks line in a horny way.... You're able to say "Someone finds me attractve" without any of that second-guessing that comes from being in a bar. So I don't feel fat anymore. I feel pretty.

Anyway, I'm going back tomorrow at the same time and maybe my Starbucks will be free!