Rubber Boobs

i bought you a house
i bought you a car
but the thing that i bought that
you like most by far
are your rubber boobs
and i hate them

your boobs were just B's
but they knew how to please
all bouncy and smooshy and pert
but god knows why
you wanted to try
to get boobs that were rigid and hurt

you told me they'd help you
recapture your youth
but they've only helped me
to chip a tooth

they are ugly and
they are yucky
so i want to say
"No fucky fucky!"

when your hooters were cuter i wanted you pooter
but now those huge knockers are only cock blockers

they're bags of jelly
that perch on your belly
and now that you have them
i'd rather watch telly
than play around with your
firm
immobile
eternally perky
most unsavory
completely inanimate
gross
rubber
boobs