Blame it on the Music

You may have noticed I haven't updated my blog in a couple days. It's not my fault. Yesterday evening, I wrote this whole big thing about Easy Bake Ovens, and it was hilarious and probably would have won me a prize if it didn't get erased when my web browser hiccuped and I accidentally closed everything instead of just waiting it out. Whatever, today I'm going to do that thing where I link to a news story and tell you why it's stupid. Here's the link. And here we go.

Bitch, please. It's my life to toy with, and if I wanna cross the street with some music playing, I'm willing to accept my own consequences, thanks. My life, remember? For me. Mine.

But ok ok, , I relent. I know that when some space case walks into traffic, other people are put in danger as well. But, y'know what? It's not an iPod's fault. I don't know about you guys, but I've got these nifty eyeballs that can see traffic signals and cars barrelling down the road even over the din of a portable music device.

Personally, I've never seen anyone walking down the street playing video games, but I guess it happens. Honestly, though, if someone's differently-abled enough to do that, they have the coma coming. That's different. Video games require total concentration. Fine away. But if people are talking on the phone or listening to music, they're just as capable of looking at a traffic signal as someone who's off in their own daydream world, which, by the way, we all are. Fine people for walking against a red light or jaywalking or whatever it is whether they have their electronic devices on or not. (Start with the bikers, those bitches run lights and knock people over all the time.) But don't blame it on the music. Nobody in this city is paying any amount of attention to what's going on around them. Nobody.

But what's happening is when they're tuning into their iPod or Blackberry or cell phone or video game, they're walking into speeding buses and moving automobiles. It's becoming a nationwide problem.

Ok, I'm gonna go ahead and suggest that you take a look at those "speeding buses". Specifically, I'm referring to the ones that change lanes on a dime, try to cut eachother off going down a narrow road, and turn into pedestrian traffic expecting people to hop out of the way. Cab drivers too. Cab drivers especially. Gonna ban them?

Fine, ok, I accept that people are ignorant and pay no attention. And for the sake of argument, I accept that audio devices and cell phones play into that to the point where it's "endemic," whatever that means. But the last thing we have to consider is the Get Real Factor. Do you honestly think people are going to wait on a street corner until they finish their cell phone call? Or remove their ear buds to cross the street? I don't care how much you threaten to fine and arrest people, bitch, nobody's going to pay it any mind. We have our way of life, and there's only so far you can intrude on that before people start blowing you off. Do you really think people will be threatened? I've never once seen a cab driver or kamakazee bike delivery boy reprimanded for being an idiot asshole, though I've been nearly killed by a hefty number, and none of us were wearing iPods.

So be realistic. Fixing this problem by banning iPods is like fighting hate crime by banning racial comingling. Maybe it would bring the numbers down in theory, but nobody would follow it because they'll think it's stupid, and it's punishing people who do nothing wrong.

You can't save everyone. People will always find ways to walk into traffic. If it's not their favorite song, it's a bad date or an argument or fancies of being a supermodel superhero that will occupy people's attention when they should be looking down the road. No amount of legislation can hold everyone's hand and teach them to look both ways. The best you can do is teach them the dangers and hope they keep their eyes open.