Yeah, I was stood up last night.
Dinner was supposed to be at 8, right, and we confirmed this when we spoke on the phone at 7. I got there early and waited and waited and waited and called and waited and at 8:30, I left a message "It's Scott. It's 8:30. I'm going home."
Oh, and I don't know if you noticed, but it was freezing outside last night. People were passing me by, and some of them passed me a second time thinking "I bet that loser got stood up."
I don't feel bad about myself, it's not like this was some hot date with a gorgeous muffin I've been in love with since the third grade (Billy, if you're out there, I still love you!). Plus, he asked me out, so it's not like he thinks I'm boring or stupid or unattractive. (He'd be wrong if he did.)
But you just don't stand people up, am I right? I don't care if your puppy died. I don't care if a hideous alien fetus just busted through your father's ribcage and you need to hurry over and apologize for never being the type of son he wanted. Send me a freaking text message, it takes two seconds: "Cn't makf it, sry." Don't leave me standing there until my toes fall off.
There's a chance he may have fallen asleep because he had been travelling earlier in the day, but bitch, that doesn't cut it either! First of all, rude. Second of all, it's been 20 hours! You're awake by now so apologize.
Once again, it's a fucking lawyer that ends up being a total dickhead to me. You'd think I'd have caught on by now. I've gone out with 6 lawyers this past year. Four of them have managed to seriously piss me off. The other two were European (a Brit and a Greek), and I'm guessing this is no coincidence. My lawyer friend in CT has warned me for the past 3 years "Don't date lawyers we all suck" and I'm gonna start listening.
...but they make so much money...
UGH, whatever, screw you all. I'll find a Jewish doctor. Are you happy now, mom?
Sorry to hear about all that. Hope the dates start going better soon. If anything positive came out of it though, it's the fact that I got to read:
ReplyDeleteI don't care if your puppy died. I don't care if a hideous alien fetus just busted through your father's ribcage and you need to hurry over and apologize for never being the type of son he wanted. Send me a freaking text message, it takes two seconds: "Cn't makf it, sry." Don't leave me standing there until my toes fall off.
Gave me a good laugh!
Glad somebody got something from it.
ReplyDeleteActually, I ended up going on a nice little walk (in the cold) and had cheap pizza for dinner, probably saving me a few bucks. And then I went book shopping to ease the pain of rejection or something.
Nova / Samuel R. Delany
The Invention of Hugo Cabret / Brian Selznick
Sorry to hear that. It never ceases to sadden me just how insensitive some people can be about the most simple of things, like good manners and be conscientious of others.
ReplyDeleteInsensitive! Exactly!
ReplyDeleteWe'll see how sensitive he feels when I kick him in the balls.
that sux0rz. pl4y som3 z31d4!! ;O
ReplyDeleteI know I'm not the Billy that you were talking about from 3rd grade, but can I be the Billy you were secretly in love with in 19th and 20th grades? I miss ya hot-stuff!
ReplyDeleteOk, it was SO not 19th and 20th grade. I wasn't even old enough to BE in those grades. It was 17th and 18th, thanks.
ReplyDeleteFurthermore, Billy in 3rd Grade was a well-tanned soccer player with spiky hair. (I knew how to pick 'em, even back then.)
So it only follows the Replacement Billy has to be tan with spiky hair and play a sexy sport (choose from: soccer, tennis, rugby, gymnastics). Get those three things down, and I'll review your application again.
Hm...I'm not tan :(...
ReplyDeleteI'm sad now