Tideland

Oh, I forgot to tell you I watched a movie last night called Tideland that was pretty messed up. I don't know if I liked it. I kept finding myself doing other things like checking my e-mail and chatting online and playing Kick the Cat but then I'd get really interested again and engross myself in the movie. So I dunno. It got horrible reviews, most everyone on Rotten Tomatoes hated it, but I know I didn't hate it because I'm not mad and if I did, this review would be a lot funnier. Lots of it was gorgeous and charming and fun and unsettling (in the good way.) Other parts were boring, overdone, and didn't brush their teeth.

Basically it's about a little girl whose parents are junkies, and she's all disconnected and oh-so-innocent and lives in a fantasy world that she shares with some creepy Barbie heads she puts on her fingers and makes talk. The Barbie heads are all decrepit, it reminded me of Barbie Beauty Shop. Then her mom dies and she doesn't really seem to get it, but her crazy dad takes her to grandma's old farmhouse in the wheat field (Tideland). Grandma's long gone, but they set up and he shoots up again and dies and the girl can't understand why he won't come back from his vacation. She thinks he smells because he farts. Hyperactive imagination or not, this girl is supremely stupid.

Anyway, she meets these people, first Crazy Taxidermist Lady who has been preserving her mother for years (super-gross) and preserves the girl's dad too so they can be a family forever. It's not a terribly original plot element, but it freaks me out every time so I like it. She also meets a Retarded (differently-abled, whatever) Boy, who's super fun, and they pretend to fall in love. It's cute. My favorite part was when she dressed him in fabulous grandma clothes and a wig.

It's all in the spirit of Alice in Wonderland, which the director insisted on reminding us of every two seconds, which wasn't necessary. The heavy-handed rabbit hole stuff and CTL quoting the Mad Hatter was over the top, the more subtle stuff would have come through without it.

Ok I guess I like this movie even though two hours was not necessary. You should all go rent it if you like crazy weird stuff and watching a kid use her imagination for a long time (lots of those parts work real well, but they made me feel like I had no childhood because I never did stuff like that, I just played video games.)

Make sure you're not eating anything crunchy during the scene where the girl and CTL are fighting in the bedroom because you'll want to yak.