We have this virus. It has apparently been crippling our entire organization, but it just got me today. I'm getting creepy messages about server problems and illegal operations and sometimes when I click to close the boxes, the computer screams like I'm murdering its children while it watches. I spent an hour doing a really difficult record for this Polish book about some Polish guy from Poland and then the thing crashed and I lost it all. Totally lame. Notepad is the only application not being a bitch to me right now, so clearly it is time to update my blog. With copy and paste, I only need 10 seconds of internet time to put it up, so hopefully fate will smile.
Anyway now I'm going to tell you about how I'm the master of charisma. Last night my friend set up this gathering to recruit volunteers for a PFLAG fundraiser. It was this little happy hour at O.W. (Oscar Wilde) and everyone got a free drink. Also, somebody dropped their free drink ticket so I got two.
Hmmm... it would seem the NTVDM CPU has encountered an illegal instruction. I get to choose between Close and Ignore... It's probably a virus program so I should close it. On the other hand, if I ignore it, it could cause problems and the more problems my computer has the less I have to work. Please don't scream.
Anyway, where I was?
Right, so fine, and I'm talking so this cool guy with a cool name when this man passes us by and I go "Wow he looks JUST LIKE Hugh Jackman!" because he did. Nobody agreed with me, but I was not to be deterred. The next time the guy passed I grabbed him and said "You know, you look JUST LIKE Hugh Jackman!" and he was so flattered by my charisma I bet he fainted on the inside. And then, super wow, turns out he owns the bar. So I got free drinks for all my friends (read: all the people standing near me who I decided to include.)
Then we all came together and were talking and the Hugh Jackman regaled us with tales of his political activism (his real job is something important, not just owning a bar) and we all had a grand old time. Now me and Wolverine are best friends forever and he gave me his card and then he asked for my card and I said "You're kidding, right? I make six dollars a year and you want a business card?" and everyone laughed and then he gave us another free round of drinks.
Nobody is as socially connected as I. You wanna hang out tonight? Oh wait I can't I'm having tea with the Queen and then going dancing with Paris Hilton but text me we'll totally do, k thx.
P.S. I'm pretty sure the real Hugh Jackman can have sex with me whenever he wants.
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