Sexy Jeopardy Dudes #1

I almost forgot! New feature that I will forget about after a week. Straight from my entirely lame personal life, I bring you Sexy Jeopardy Dudes!

This week we admire Jesse, who was on the show back in October. (I am VERY behind in my Jeopardy watching. Last week, my DVR was 100% filled with old episodes and stopped recording anything else.) Anyway here is Jesse:

To my infinite pleasure, he won like 4 or 5 games, so I got to watch him for a very long time. If you think he's sexy to look at here, you should've heard him talk. He was all smooth and confident and profundo, and that look on his face pretty much encompasses his entire personality. Watching him play Jeopardy and do incredible feats of mental math in seconds is remarkably similar to having sex, so.... guess you missed it.

I can't comment on how often this feature will run because -- I don't know if you know this -- Jeopardy is a 100% unreliable source of attractive people.

MoMI! I'm hungry MoMI!

Now is the time I tell you about what I did this weekend.

Those are real. I saw them at the Entenmann's outlet in Astoria. Sorry about the shitty iPhone quality but prepare yourself for more because I just discovered how fun it can be to use the camera on there even though it's slowly lowering people's standards of beauty one hastily-delivered photo at a time. Yeah, I said it, the iPhone takes shitty pictures so if you hear someone being struck by lightning in the next 20 seconds it's probably me.

Anyway the main events this weekend involved the reopening of the Museum of the Moving Image. Babcock got us a dual membership, and we went to the disorganized and poorly-executed opening party Saturday night. It was supposed to start at 8, so we got there at 7:50 and there was a line around the corner because nobody was allowed in.

They opened the doors 20 minutes late, and a giant bouncer (museum bouncer) was letting people in 6 at a time.... to wait in another line.... and then you had to wait in yet another line for food and drink tickets. So it took us 45 minutes just to get inside (P.S. it's winter) and instead of screwing the people with 8:30 events (which would've worked nicely), they pushed everything back, but each room was pushed back a different amount of time so no matter where you went, you were probably waiting 40 minutes for your thing to start.

Luckily, not a lot of things were worth seeing, so there was plenty of time to meander. You would think a film museum with a gigantic archive would have plenty to offer in terms of screening entertainment, but too much of it was installation crap like "aura dancing" where you could dance in front of a projector and someone with a laptop would drag colors over you. You could even see the little cursor. Art school crap like that.

Also the wine was terrible, guys, like spew.

Happily, the museum itself is pretty sweet. That's a picture of an animated mural in the entryway called City Glow. Very sexy. It was fun to watch that 30 times while waiting in line for tickets we ordered ahead of time. The exhibits are pretty too, though they haven't finished labeling everything.

The best room to be in was the .... room kinda off to the left. They had a rotation of DJs and chiptune artists, and most of it was worth hearing. It's also where the hot caterer was. Babcock and I spent most of our time in there talking about our relationship and watching this guy paint video on the wall.

If you are wondering who is talking at the end and ruining everything, it is Babcock. Also that scarf on the dude's head is ATTACHED TO THE SWEATER, sorry to blow your minds so early in the week guys.

What is even happening right now?

Forget what I said about blogging more. Believing me is for chumps anyway!

Anyway, I just logged onto Yelp.com for no reason only to find that I haven't written a review since 2008, and it bothered me. I'm not talking about my absence from the site because that was a decisive choice I made due to it becoming popular and therefore plagued with boring, pointless writing and far-less-interesting events. (Sorry, current Yelpers. I'm sure it wasn't you personally.)

What bugged me is that I feel like quitting Yelp wasn't that long ago, but 2008 was over 2 years ago. That's a long time: a giant 2-year span of time where I have no record of any restaurants I've discovered or venues I've seen, and since I have a terrible long-term hard drive in my brain (Cory, I forgot when your birthday is again, btw) that's basically two years of which I have no memory at all! I really have to document my life better so when I'm old and full of regrets, I can look at something and say "Bonus, I did stuff after all!"

Let's start now! Yesterday Rybrarian came over and we watched Jeopardy and played Mortal Kombat. Then he came with me to buy earplugs because I forgot to. So that's cool. Oh, we went to DUANE READE for that. I give them 4 stars. __ Useful __ Funny __ Cool

Ooh, also, there is a new Starbucks character. His name is Gay Latte Boy, and I like him a lot because he gave me free cookies one time. Today he told me about how he saw Spiderman and it was stupid. Well... he didn't tell ME, he told his coworkers, and I stood off to the side pretending to arrange my iPod and eavesdropping. I'm considering having a crush on him, but I want to discuss it with my boyfriend first.

Jesus Christ, speaking of that place, some kid stole the Foursquare mayorship from me, and I have been chasing him for over a month! Every time I check in, I am 1 day away from becoming mayor, and I check in every day! He's smoking in his picture, so obviously he must be destroyed. I'm sure he lives on my street, too, because all of his stupid mayorships are within a block. Get a life, dude, you seriously need to get out more! (Readers, I know what you're thinking, and I want you NOT to say it.)

So that's what's going on with me. That and my karaoke league team, Snooki: Reloaded, are regular season champions. Waiting on results from finals Wednesday. And uh.... yeah I'll probably link to a couple videos that are starting to surface so you can see how talented we all are and be so jealous.

Two-Thousand and Eleventeen

Ok the thing about December is that it sucked. With the exception of Christmas and New Year's Eve, I was in a bad mood approx. 97% of the time. It is with this in mind that I make the sappy admission that the nascent new year actually feels like a clean slate for once.

I've always found it strange that people base their ideological renewal on the period of rotation of a giant rock in infinite blackness, but this time around I'm jumping on that dizzying bandwagon and saying "Huzzah for 2011!" Therefore, let us look back on 2010 and examine my accomplishments (snort). Then I will tell you my two REAL resolutions as opposed to the bullshit ones I do every year.

My accomplishments in 2010 are varied and numerous. They include such monumental feats as "continuing to convert oxygen into carbon dioxide using a complex scientific process most of you don't fully understand" as well as "playing Final Fantasy XIII for 20 hours without killing myself." I'm also quite proud of "having a better attitude than most of my coworkers about my office moving to a shitty neighborhood" and "gaining 5-6 pounds, thereby slightly throwing the earth off its orbit and contributing to climate change and the eventual 2012 disaster that sources say only John Cusack will survive."

But my most astonishing feat of 2011 was definitely "maintaining a romantic relationship for three months (and counting!) without losing interest at a decisive moment a month and a half in and waiting for the relationship to disintegrate on its own." That'll be with Wine Store Guy a.k.a. C.C. Babcock a.k.a. Fafner a.k.a. whatever other nickname I might have used. (They are all the same person. This has been confusing to some people.) Anyway, he didn't know about the threat of sudden disinterestegration so don't tell him. It's past the point of no return for that to happen anyway, so all is well.

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Ok now it's time for everyone to care about my resolutions! I have two this year.

1. Make something every day -- This sounds ambitious, but it's not. Basically, I resolve to do something creative every day. So far, so good. On the 1st, I made a Happy New Year flip book that features Stick Man drinking, passing out from drinking and creating floating Z's, and then the Zs disappear and he dies from alcohol poisoning. I wish I had a scanner so I could make an animated gif for all to see. Then yesterday I came up with the concept for my performance of LoveGame in karaoke league this weekend. Today I am making the costume... or at least buying all the elements of the costume. You may call it lame that so far I have nothing to show for the 2nd and 3rd days of my resolution, but I declare that I spent a lot of time thinking, and that is creative enough and also your resolution to lose weight is boring and shitty.
2. Make New York big again -- I resolve to not sit at home so much is basically what this one says. There was a time when I was constantly out and about, but last year I stayed in my (admittedly comfortable and amenity-rich) apartment. But that's not what I live in New York for. So this year I've subscribed again to Time Out New York and Cory has subscribed to NY Mag, so the goal is more music and art and restaurants. Especially I would like to do free things as long as my BOYFRIEND shows up on time and not at the last possible second so there are no seats left for the Monteverdi Vespers performance.

So that's that. I hope fulfilling those two convictions will lead to a third unspoken resolution: I promise to blog more. This is a resolution that I make every month and it never happens, but if all goes well, I will tell you about all the cool free events I go to and all the shitty little art projects I do at home.

Happy 2011 everybody! Your resolution is "read my blog every day"!