Adventures of Mop Top Curlyface McTittykins

Went out last night and have the feeling I was really obnoxious all night, though I can't remember why. Does anyone remember me being obnoxious? If I was I blame my new hair.

WHAT I DIDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT MY NEW HAIR YET!?!?! That's so weird because I won't shut up about it on Facebook.

Don't look at me.

Top view.

So basically we pared down the sides and she took a curling iron to the top. And then she put a bunch of crap in her hands and ruined the curls. I love it.

The best part is she (Stylist She) said I can probably not shower for 4 or 5 days and still have good hair. So I'm trying that. Gas masks are available for your convenience. Here's Day 1:

The curls are destroyed because my hair is so vehemently disagreeable and can't listen to simple instruction. (Get punchy! Fruit drinky?) So now you know. Anyway I'm heading to New Hampshire with Ry Ry for a few days. Please don't miss me, I promise I will return and generate more narcissistic and utterly inane internet content for your perusal.

But it's not a trip unless I go out and buy a bunch of shit for no reason.

This curling iron is for after my No Shower Ever experiment. I'll post pics of all my scalp burns, don't worry.

All boys with hair should have this product. Body hair included.

I rented Alien. The guy at the video store I have a crush on told me it is slow but that I should watch all 4, so I am doing that. I'm pretty sure he's into dudettes, but he is so cute when he talks about movies that I'm thinking of Missed Connectioning him to see.

I bought this game and am going to go play it now until I have to get ready to go bye.

My Killer Week (Digest)

Hi guys. I haven't been in the mood to blog this week, which sucks overly because I have SO MANY things to tell you.

Most importantly, last Wednesday I went to a free screening of this new film, Super at IFC aaaaand it was absolutely fantastic. Best movie I've seen in a while. So you all have to go. Also, Liv Tyler was there, right, and she totally sat super close to me, and before the movie started she whispered something to her friend and I was like "Arwen!?!" (because remember who in Lord of the Rings she whispered her entire role?) Anyway Super is brilliantly-written and incredibly creative and not at all a Kick Ass knockoff. Go see it. I noticed it was playing at Sunshine Cinemas on the Lower East Side when I walked by Friday, but hopefully you can find it somewhere less bufu. But in all seriousness, it's worth seeing if you're not a total snob about superhero stuff (or slightly religious-themed stuff).

Oh and BEFORE the movie, I was decided to kill an hour at this random coffee shop I found near the theater and who should be working there but the ORIGINAL SEXY LATTE BOY from Joe: The Art of Coffee in Grand Central whom I was obsessed with 3 years ago! He didn't remember me when I creepily asked him if he "ever worked at a different coffee shop". He totally knew that meant "I know who you are, but you don't know who I am." Anyway, he looks fantastic. Sexuality = Still ambiguous.

Right, then my mom visited this weekend. I bought a ton of awesome stuff. She met C.C., so that's done. It was a refreshing weekend. You should see my new bag.

So far, all that's happened this week is I bought this:

Well, one of them. It's one of only 20 in the world... though there are more than 20 in that picture. Anyway, I need stuff for a big shelving unit I'm having put in soon, so I've decided I'm going to try and only decorate it with things that have buttholes.

Can I Be Your Marshmallow? Because I Want S'more! :-/

I'm in love I'm in love and I don't care who knows it!

Dudes. Srsly. I went into Saks today after work (as promised) and decided it was time to find something for my cousin's wedding in May. I was aiming for a narrowish purple tie to go with the jacket and shirt I wear to every damn wedding. Simple.

Well first of all I found that tie after wandering the 6th floor for a while, it was like fate. You can't see the whole thing here but it's a Gucci solid with those two signature stripes near the top. The violet is a little lighter than the website makes it look.

Fine right great but then I was walking out of the section to maybe find some jeans when I saw the most gorgeous amazing shirt I have ever seen. And that's how I fell in love.

His name is Robert Graham, and he's without question my new favoritest designer ever. (Careful, the website's kinda loud.) The two shirts I found were these beautiful, well-fitted pastel numbers with a little sheen and some subtle floral prints. The neat thing about these shirts is that they have a regular French cuff, but you can also reverse it and press it for a really neat alternate cuff with a touch of whimsy. The pink shirt had a reverse cuff that was light blue with pink embroidery. That one was my favorite, but they didn't have it in my size. The blue shirt had a reverse of this kinda fruity, bold floral pattern... dark blue, green, purple, and burgundy. Srsly sweet, and it fits me great.

So I bought it. I HAD TO!

Anyway he's also got great ties, some of which are also reversible and so are essentially a two-for-one. And some switch fabrics in the middle, so when you wear them, if you don't loop it together, the back part can peek out for a fun contrast.

Then I came home and looked at that website and man, there's this vest and this jacket and pretty much this whole collection that I want. Well actually some of the stuff is way too.... what's the word I'm searching for?.... hideous. But if it's not, it's just... man. Robert Graham, if you're reading this would you like to come and live under my bed? I will give you a sewing machine and let you out for meals twice a day if you behave. It's like a sweatshop except with only you and sometimes my cat will come visit, she likes it under there too.

UPDATE: Don't worry, concerned friends, I didn't pay full price for any of this!

Anyway when I finally deposit my paycheck from last week, I'm going shopping again tomorrow. I need at least that vest with the pink flowers and some cufflinks. Yes. Then I can say it. I can say it like he says it and it will be almost true.

"I'm Chuck Bass."

AS PROMISED!

Yeah, who wants to do me now? I bought a two-month supply of band-aids for until the thing goes away completely and the redness fades.

Anyway now I'll talk about something else I WENT SHOPPING! After work I was walking up 5th Ave. to go have a nice free afternoon in the park when I saw this beautiful jacket in the Versace window so I veered in. The jacket ended up being $5,000 so... no. But I love being tended to in these places, and this gaysian guy kept telling me about everything and seemed to think that I could afford ANYTHING, so it was kinda nice, and I ended up getting these shoes that were totally awesome and half off. I've wanted white shoes for a while. I've wanted silver shoes for a while.

BAM I got both for half. I'm the best shopper ever.

My mom and her friend Bonnie came to the city this weekend, so everything I did between Friday evening and now has been with them. I'm not complaining. My mom is great. I'm not sure what happened, but a few years ago we just started getting along really friendly-like. Our relationship is based primarily on movies, shopping (esp. purses, about which I know nothing), gossip, weight loss, and the hot guys at the makeup counter at Saks. (But she's still my mom. Emotional support and nagging are also major themes.)

Still, there's something unnerving about feeling totally at ease with such a high concentration of social interactions with middle-aged women. Everyone I work with is older than me. Everyone I date is older than me. This is how it's always been. But when I can hear Bonnie say "Hey, I used to Jazzercize to this song!" and not even blink, it might be time for me to go hang out with someone immature.

But even so, it was a great weekend. We helped Bonnie find a new winter coat because the zipper on hers had broken, so she had to step in and out of it, which was hilarious. Mom splurged on a little Louis Vuitton purse that she proudly showed off after threatening me with a painful death if I told my father. And most importantly, we totally cheated on our Weight Watchers diets with pastrami sandwiches from Katz's Deli.

Ok, I'm not on Weight Watchers, but I still played along with the feigned guilt.

Oh, we also saw Hairspray and Les Miserables, which were what you'd expect. Hairspray was super fun, and Ashley Parker Angel is taller than he looks based on his head shot. He's the guy from O-Town. I think I might have to make him my husband. Les Mis kinda bored me, and Daphne Ruben-Vega was horribly miscast and should never be allowed to sing Fantine again unless she realizes that she's not Mimi anymore. No offense or anything. K, thanks.

In conclusion, I am your number one source for Broadway news and reviews. To leave a voicemail comment or to invite me to a premiere, call 1-800-JAP-LIKE-MY-MOM.

Where's my Hannukkah spirit?

After such a strenuous morning of a Christmas party and having my computer broken so I couldn't do work for an hour my lunch break was a welcome respite. I wasn't hungry because of the party (and I'm eating at 3:30 at my second library-sanctioned work blowoff a.k.a. the tech services Christmas party) so I wandered around these adorable little kiosks they have set up in Bryant Park.

All there people are selling stuff like scarves, candles, ornaments, baby clothes, and waffles. One woman had a stand with a bunch of clove boxes. That's boxes made of cloves. They smelled like cloves. And also had clove ornaments and a monkey on a spring that hangs from the ceiling.

From her I bought a coat hook with cats on it. It's super cute and now I won't drape 5 coats and 10 scarves over my kitchen chair so that when my retarded cat walks by and touches a dangling scarf tassle, the weight won't cause my entire chair and all my clothes to fall on her. Sort of a shame, really. I like when bad things happen to my cat.

I couldn't decide between the cat hook or a set of hooks with the sun, moon, and a star on them. They were both cute metalwork things, so I tried to think of people's reactions to them. The sunmoonstar one got "Oh, it's nice" because it was, and the cat one got "Jesus Christ, I can't believe you bought coat hooks with fucking cats on them are you in a knitting club?" So I bought the cat one.

Then they gave me a free ornament made out of cloves. In a bizarre fit of psychic awareness, she gave me one shaped like a music note. I'm not sure what to do with it. Now I feel like I have to buy a fucking tree to accomodate her gift.

Oh, and SPEAKING OF BEING UNAPPRECIATIVE, I'm about to be it again. My grandma (dad's mom) sent me my Hannukkah gift, and not only is the check smaller than last year (when it wasn't big in the first place... think "Less than a DVD") she didn't even send a card this year. Like gee thanks, I see you're doing Christmas for the whole family at under $100 this year. And I don't care if you think I'm mean and an asshole because my mom agrees with me and my grandma has a lot of money and please at least write a note or something so I know you Hannucare enough to remember my name.

Oh and my dad's decided my gift will get stolen in the mail, so he's forbidden my mom from sending it and will instead give it to me in the middle of January when he's here on business. So there goes the greedy part of my holiday. This year I got almost enough money to pay for a CD and a travel mug (it just came) with a note saying "Happy Holidays from the Library and if we catch you using anything but this mug you are totally fired!"