There is no pun that's not been overused already.

Goodbye social life, hello Vitamin D deficiency! I just bought a Wii!

Y'know how they're impossible to find? Well I have a friend who works at Pokemon, a connection I never thought I'd have use for, but he called Nintendo World and name dropped for me, so they held a Wii today for me to get at lunch! I got Zelda: Twilight Princess, Super Paper Mario, and most importantly, Harry Potter! I used to be scared my neighbors would hear me having sex and think I was gross, but NOW all they will hear is "REDUCTO! STUPIFY!" and especially "WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!" because I am Ginny Weasley.

But seriously. Srsly. My friend just told me you can buy old Nintendo games for super cheap because the Wii automagically finds your wireless internet connection. You can even check the weather! I really hope they have Bubble Bobble because Lord knows I haven't heard that inane theme song enough billion times in my life. I will also buy Tetris because Nintendo Tetris is the only version worth anything.

Things that make you go Hugh

We have this virus. It has apparently been crippling our entire organization, but it just got me today. I'm getting creepy messages about server problems and illegal operations and sometimes when I click to close the boxes, the computer screams like I'm murdering its children while it watches. I spent an hour doing a really difficult record for this Polish book about some Polish guy from Poland and then the thing crashed and I lost it all. Totally lame. Notepad is the only application not being a bitch to me right now, so clearly it is time to update my blog. With copy and paste, I only need 10 seconds of internet time to put it up, so hopefully fate will smile.

Anyway now I'm going to tell you about how I'm the master of charisma. Last night my friend set up this gathering to recruit volunteers for a PFLAG fundraiser. It was this little happy hour at O.W. (Oscar Wilde) and everyone got a free drink. Also, somebody dropped their free drink ticket so I got two.

Hmmm... it would seem the NTVDM CPU has encountered an illegal instruction. I get to choose between Close and Ignore... It's probably a virus program so I should close it. On the other hand, if I ignore it, it could cause problems and the more problems my computer has the less I have to work. Please don't scream.

Anyway, where I was?

Right, so fine, and I'm talking so this cool guy with a cool name when this man passes us by and I go "Wow he looks JUST LIKE Hugh Jackman!" because he did. Nobody agreed with me, but I was not to be deterred. The next time the guy passed I grabbed him and said "You know, you look JUST LIKE Hugh Jackman!" and he was so flattered by my charisma I bet he fainted on the inside. And then, super wow, turns out he owns the bar. So I got free drinks for all my friends (read: all the people standing near me who I decided to include.)

Then we all came together and were talking and the Hugh Jackman regaled us with tales of his political activism (his real job is something important, not just owning a bar) and we all had a grand old time. Now me and Wolverine are best friends forever and he gave me his card and then he asked for my card and I said "You're kidding, right? I make six dollars a year and you want a business card?" and everyone laughed and then he gave us another free round of drinks.

Nobody is as socially connected as I. You wanna hang out tonight? Oh wait I can't I'm having tea with the Queen and then going dancing with Paris Hilton but text me we'll totally do, k thx.

P.S. I'm pretty sure the real Hugh Jackman can have sex with me whenever he wants.

I am cool

OMG drunk post let's go HEY!

This is mostly a public service announcement. If your name is Gay Guy In New York, I'm going to advise that you never to go to a place called....ummm... Regal..... Rectum.... Rancid...... Rebel! It's called Rebel. Ok, don't ever go there because first they tell you it's $10 to get in, and you're like Fine, I have exactly $10 in my wallet and then they make you empty your pockets and they search you for drugs and bombs and finger your anus and it's totally invasive and the guy doing it isn't even cute and then they say Oh it's $15 so you have to ask the guy next to you to help you get in but it's ok because he invites you to his Oscar party and so you win but whatever still it's embarassing and then when you get in it totally sucks anyway and you're like "I wish they hadn't anal searched me because I'd really like to use that bomb I was carting around right about now" but you can't and then that guy with the really sexy long hair disappears into nowhere so there's nobody left to make eyes at and then all you want to do is get a beer but it's like $8 so fuck that and in conclusion gay people suck and the only reason there are lists at bars like this is because it makes stupid gay fag boys feel like they're important even though they can't even put a sentence together when you're like totally using words like miasma and paradigm and loquatious and versimilitude because you wish you were a famous writer even though you're not...

And oh my god, I wish you could have seen me tonight because I looked totally hot, like ok let's assume for the sake of argument that you thought I was hot and sexy and you were in love with me before, good, so you don't even know because I changed my hair and yesterday at work was a failed experiment but today it was so totally sexy and if you loved me before, you would probably shit yourself over how hot I looked tonight with my new hair even though it was kinda Happy New Year 1997 I don't care and I was wearing this cute shirt I bought in January with my sexy jeans and all these people were all "I may be 50 but let's totally do it" and I was like "As if" but then people were like "I may be 26 and hot let's totally do it" and I was like "Thanks, but no thanks" so tonight I ruled and you drooled, sorry that's just the way it is.

To conclude I've been drinking for 10 hours and I'm going to an Oscar party with some kid I took money from who I think might be Jewish but it doesn't matter I will probably forget he existed tomorrow my night was funner than yours k thx bie!

Release.

Shit bitches!

None of you care, but with no ado, we have a release date for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. 7/21/07. Right near the movie.

So in about 6 months, the whole thing will be over. I'll have to find something worthwhile to do with my free time. Maybe that can include having a life.

OMG I can't decide who to preorder from OMG. Luckily, it's a on Saturday, so I don't have to take time off work.

Ok that's all, go away.