Things I Am Into Right Now

Not talking about Starbucks every two seconds.

Yeah I don't even go every day anymore. Now that I got my mayorship back, it's lost some of its allure. Also Latte Boy is never around and Gay Latte Boy is very hot and cold with me. I'm not sure what I did.

Minecraft

None of you care about nerdy video games, but I've been playing this off and on for many months now (I'm an alpha adopter, ladies) and I just love it. It's basically a sandbox where you dig and scrounge for materials and make stupid shit and fight monsters. I have a base carved into a mountain and an indoor tree farm and an aquarium with nothing in it and a wall of fire that automatically kills cows and sheep for me and a tower with a giant ball of lava at the top that took me 9 hours to build and now I'm working on a secret library you have to swim up a waterfall to discover what no I go outside all the time and have lots of friends shut up.

Epic Meal Time

This is my newest YouTube subscription.

Cory, this is how I'm going to kill you. (Readers, Cory is allergic to meat or should I say he is allergic to being a man.)

The Hunger Games

Dudes, you have got to read this book. It's totally ridiculous, and I approached it with serious trepidation, but it's so good I read the first 300 pages in one sitting. You have to suspend a fair amount of disbelief, but Ms. Suzanne Collins hits a lot of good notes here.

Everybody at work talking really loud so I can't concentrate all day

I'm so into it, you guys.

OH LOOK I DID ANOTHER FUCKING MEME!

Even if you don't care about what books I've read you should still read this because I make some awesome and mature puns!

The BBC believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here.

Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read.
2) Tally your total at the bottom.
3) Tag others and pass it on.

Here's the list:

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien [more like BORED of the Rings hu hu hu, I wish I'd thought of that myself]
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte [x]
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling [x]
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee [x]
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman [x]
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy [x -- one of my favorite books ever]
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare [Ok no but only because there are some works that are seriously skippable]
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien [x]
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger [x]
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald [x]
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy [more like BORE and Peace! Just kidding, I've never even tried this, I'm sure it's great]
25 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams [x]
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll [x]
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis [x]
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis [x]
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden [more like Memoirs of a Gaysha!]
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne [x]
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown [x-- more like The Da WINCY Code... because its so bad I winced all the time.... ok that one sucked]
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding [x (Bored of the Flies, yeah yeah, we get it already)]
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel [x]
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons [Moooooo! Frozen hamburgers!]
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens [x-- more like A Tale That's Too Shitty!]
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley [x-- I hate this book so much it doesn't even get an awesome pun]
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon [x]
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov [more like Ho-lita!]
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville [more like Moby DICK!... wait that doesn't work]
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker [x OMG BORING... more like.... more like... i got nothin' OH YES I DO: "This book sure SUCKED!"]
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White [x]
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad [x -- I also hated this book. Ummmm FART OF DARKNESS!]
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery [x-- favorite ever]
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole [x]
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl [x]
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Totes: 25.

1/4. Not bad

Analysis: WHO MADE THIS SHITTY LIST!!??! What is it even supposed to be? Books you should read because they're good? Books you should read if you don't want to make an effort developing ecclectic literary taste? Books that we have heard of here at BBC and thought would make us sound smart?

Is Hamlet somehow excluded from the works of Shakespeare? Was it necessary to exclude The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe from The Chronicles of Narnia at the expense of the 101st choice that didn't make the cut and was maybe the slightest bit outre and perhaps by a non-European/Russian?

Brave New World? Really???

Oh shit, am I in a bad mood? I didn't think I was in a bad mood, but now I'm acting like I am.

Oh, I gotta go! Facebook wants to teach me to make over $1,250 a week from my kitchen table in my underwear!

Bundookie

My GChat status message reads "Bunduki!!!!" and it prompted the following conversation. I reproduce it here because it's one that I want to have with ALL of you.

Robb: what the hell is that supposed to mean?

me: What?

Robb: bunduki

me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh.
Bunduki is the shittiest book ever written.
I'm reading it now, it's SO bad!
I found it at a used book store with a friend in Phoenix and we made fun of it, and then he sent it to me a couple days ago because he's weird.
It's a novel about Tarzan's adopted son, Bunduki!

Robb: how nice of him
ahh

me: I love it.

Robb: I didn't know the african jungle had adoption agencies
was that the same one madonna used?

me: The guy's a total horny nerd.
Well, Tarzan moved to England I guess.
Hahaha!
Bunduki went to Eton.
It's not his real name.

Robb: I should hope not

me: The author (horny nerd guy) goes into all this horrible detail like "He pulled the string back 24 inches and shot the 31 inch fiber glass arrow at an angle of 34 degrees."
And all the women are scantilly clad and "Bust 37, waist 20, hips 36."
He keeps referring to Bunduki as "the blonde giant."
You HAVE to read it!

Robb: :-)

me: Whenever he uses an adjective on the women, he qualifies it. Like, he can't just say "the smaller woman" he has to say "the smaller, but no less voluptuous woman"
On the cover is this broad-chested guy and a hot blonde with HUGE boobs running from these giant red-eyed monkey things with sticks.

Robb: lol
it sounds wonderful

me: It is! I read 120 pages yesterday and i'm gonna finish today if I can.
The hot blonde is Bunduki's cousin, but he's falling in love with her because she's so buxom.
Anyway, what are YOU reading?
OH WAIT I DON'T CARE BECAUSE IT'S NOT BUNDUKI!

Warning, the Internet's not private PEOPLE ARE READING WHAT YOU SAY!!!

I wasn't going to tell anybody this until after my vacation (oh, I'm going on vacation Thursday-Tuesday, don't expect to hear much from me)... anyway, I wasn't going to say anything yet, but something happened and now I want to. So I started a new blog. It's not original or good or anything, it's just about the books I read and stuff. I did it because I have met some neat people lately who share the same taste as I do, and I thought it'd be fun to have a place of my own to talk about that stuff where it wouldn't be interrupted with talk about my night at the bar or pictures of my fat butt.

The site is called Booky Ooky and I called it that because my cat told me to. Anyway, the reason I am bringing it up is because I wrote up a little review of this book I read over the weekend and didn't really like. It was fast and off-the-cuff like everything I ever do, and so I posted it and forgot about it until two hours later when I got my first comment. I was so excited because nobody knew about my new blog, so I was amazed someone stumbled upon a review I had written two hours earlier.

Well it turns out the comment was from the AUTHOR of the book I had just sorta trashed. So clearly he is obsessed with reading what people say about his work and is also Nancy Drew.

His comment makes me like him a lot. I dunno why. I just like him. But as I was just telling a friend in an e-mail, I feel really weird and bad and awkward because my lame, half-assed opinion of a book that I wrote about in my shitty blog actually reached the author of said book, which is not something I ever thought would happen unless I met J.K. Rowling on the street and freaked out with praise and adulation before I fainted on her. It's very bizarre.

But the good part is that my very first comment was from a semi-famous author (who's name and book I am not saying here because I am hiding from him) and how many people can say that, y'know?

Anyway, go check out the blog if you want. It's way under construction. My CSS skillz suck major, and I don't know dick one about PHP/MySQL, so Wordpress is still very daunting. And there's no blogroll yet, so don't get offended that you're not on it.

Ask me if you need help on the big words

Hi. It's me.

This article from The Walton Tribune, whatever that is, is a couple weeks old. I set it aside after reading only the headline and forgot about it until today. I thought it would be an interesting little diatribe on the disappearance of book reviews in major papers and the depressing, though overdiscussed topic that people are reading less and less. And in a way it was. Mr. S. Milligan, however, decided to turn it into a self-righteous whine about how nobody as smart or cultured as him is being given a forum to discuss "good" literature anymore.

Like countless other deluded, uppity smart people -- you know, the kind that made you decide against pursuing that Ph.D. -- he seems to think that certain mediums of expression (like the Internet) are somehow beneath him because their contributors are second-class idiots who think Jane Eyre is a character on the O.C. Observe:

Despite the claims of Internet equality, if you've ever read the average online review of anything, you know that issues like intelligence or writing ability rarely come into play on the web.

First of all, Internet equality? What does that even mean? Secondly, shut your mouth, Milligan. Honey, there are numerous print publications, considered legitimate, where intelligence and writing ability have little to do with what they produce. You should know. Furthermore, if you can't find anything of quality on this new-fangled Internet contraption, then you clearly are not looking hard enough. Sure, any moron can set up his own blog and spout nonsense for the world to read, and there is a lot of dreck to trudge through, but I will not sit and listen to you blustering on about a total void of intellectual material on literature. I subscribe to a lot of quality blogs about quality literature, not to mention a couple podcasts and a general sense of where to look for more. The Internet is not so large and confusing as to be unnavigable in this regard.

I also don't appreciate Milligan's tone, which implies that only brainy, "literature" literature is worth the time of the intellectual elite. Just because a book does not have the empty validation of sitting on the proper shelf in the book store does not mean it holds no deeper value than entertainment. I'm gonna go right out and say that I'm a smart person. I get literature. I can read difficult works and grasp the secret special between-the-lines ivory tower implications. I promise that these standards that you so prize, Mr. Milligan, are present in more than one "mindless" book with a dragon on the cover. Lots of it is crap, sure, but let's not judge books by their... well, you know.

I don't disagree with our humble journalist. It's upsetting to see book reviews removed from newspapers. I'm on board with this. But maybe instead of complaining about it, you could reach out a bit further to look for the community of elitists you so desperately crave, and if you still fail to find them (though I know they're out there, I've tripped over their websites before) then do it yourself.

I'm youth, I'm joy...

Everything in my life is making me really tired right now, so I'm escaping. I'm planning a short trip to a secret somewhere, and instead of doing important things like laundry and dishes, last night I read the first half of this edition of Peter Pan, and it's already become my favorite book in all of literary history.

Pardon the imagery here, but about 20 pages in, I already felt like I was lying in the arms of a charming British man as he told me this lovely fairy story to make all my problems go away. Right, and we were naked, but whatever.

What I'm getting at is there's this comforting, genuine quality to J.M. Barrie's style that makes it feel like I'm hearing this story from a close friend instead of just some dude who wrote a book. It reminded me of, and hear me out here, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

This has nothing to do with C.S. Lewis' writing style. I didn't read that book. It was read to me by somebody I was dating about whom I care very much. (Note present tense.) I remember those nights so fondly. Being read to is probably one of the more intimate things I've ever done with anyone. I'd have my head on his chest as he did this deep Aslan, and holy God, he has this soft, creepy voice for the Ice Queen that turned me on so much I can't even handle it. (I swear, if you ever get the chance, date an actor and make him read to you, but make sure he's a guy.)

Anyway, the relationship didn't work out because I have emotional problems, so in the current absence of a talented Prince Charming (or, preferably, a Dread Pirate Roberts), Peter Pan has come the closest to simulating this lovely experience. You should all stop what you're doing and read it immediately, but make sure you have a blanket. It's also nice to let your cat sit on you.

So, I've decided to do a Peter Pan bookfest. After this, I'm reading Peter Pan in Scarlet, some authorized sequel that they got this chick to write for some reason. I dunno why, whatever. And then I'm reading Peter and the Starcatchers and Peter and the Shadow Thieves by Dave Barry, and they had better be good because I'm putting a lot of stuff on hold for this. Then I'm watching Finding Neverland because Johnny Depp is hot.

Once Upon a Time 2007

I've never done anything like this before, but I ran across this Once Upon a Time 2007 book challenge and I figured it was something to do. It meshes well with what I read anyway, and it'll get some stuff crossed off my list.

Anyway, I'm doing the third one, which is to read one book from each of the genres of folklore, fairy tales, mythology, and fantasy and then to finish with a reading of A Midsummer Night's Dream on, to be exact, Midsummer. That means June 21st. (Not to be confused with July 21st, better known to me as the Seventh Coming.) Anyway, here it is:

• Fairy Tale - The Onion Girl / Charles de Lint -- I don't know the first thing about this, I just stole it from someone else's list. I dunno who.
• Fantasy - Inkspell / Cornelia Funke -- The sequel to Inkheart, which was great. Cornelia is German and the books are about a bookbinder and his daughter, so I have no choice but to love them.
• Folklore - Folktales of Ireland / ed. Sean O'Sullivan -- Straightforward. I figure if I'm going to listen to the music, I might as well know the stories.
• Mythology - Ramayana / retold by William Buck -- Don't ask me what moved me to want to read this, I just do ok?
• L'Envoi - A Midsummer Night's Dream / William Shakespeare -- I'm pretty sure I read this in junior high, but I was stupid then.

My pace on this will be slowed by my 11 billionth reading of the Harry Potter books and the fact that I've been having a super hard time sitting still for more than 10 minutes lately. I can't focus on anything, I'll read a page in a book, get bored, watch half an episode of something, get bored, take a nap, go out for ice cream, take a shower, and realize only 15 minutes have passed. It's weird, and I'm shocked I had the patience to get through this blog ent

Language warning: Lock your kids up, I'm gonna say "scrotum" a lot

As a librarian, I feel the need to chime in on this, but I'm pretty sure I don't have anything to say that hasn't already been said. Whatever, the point is, the 2007 Newbery Medal winner is getting a lot of uptight librarians all of a tizzy. The book that won is The Higher Power of Lucky by Susan Patron, a woman with an amusing name considering the outcry her book has caused.

I've never read this book and have no idea what it's about, but that never seems to deter people from participating in these conversations, so I have no guilt. Besides, the objectionable material is on page 1, so it's ok. One page, yes. One word, in point of fact. Cover your children's ears and have them leave the room because I'm about to say the corrupting word that will send them down a slippery slope towards the dreaded Pr's: Promiscuity, Prostitution, and Pregnancy! Yes, that is what will happen when your child opens up this book and sees the word........ scrotum.

Now please try to contain your horror. I notice that a number of you have fainted, and I ask for those still standing to attend to those on the ground. It is important that we discuss the appalling context. The main character of the book overheard the word when an adult was talking about how his dog got bit by a rattlesnake in his scrotum.

Ok, seriously now. While not a pleasant image in any way, it disturbs me that librarians of all people are freaking out. I expect it from parents, I mean they object to everything, but I used to pride myself on being a part of a community that touted freedom of expression and freedom from censorship. Every cataloger learns never to provide evaluative data in their output. Librarians provide access to resources and teach their patrons how to do their own evaluative analysis, and keeping this book--a Newbery winner at that--off the shelves because of what they consider to be one offensive word goes against everything that I hold sacred in this field.

But enough librarian talk. Now were going to talk about the other reasons this is ridiculous.

“I think it’s a good case of an author not realizing her audience,” said Frederick Muller, a librarian at Halsted Middle School in Newton, N.J. “If I were a third- or fourth-grade teacher, I wouldn’t want to have to explain that.”

On the contrary, Susan Patron knows exactly who her audience is. Quite frankly, Mr. Muller, I wouldn't want you explaining it to my kids either. Make a word sound naughty and taboo, and that's all it will be. If you teach kids that words like this are objectionable, you're the one creating the objection. On the other hand, if you teach them that it's simply a word for a body part that they all have--or that half of them have--they'll all snicker a little (because that's what kids do) and that'll be the end of it. If you're comfortable with the situation and teach the word as a natural part of our language that can show up in books and conversation, it will not be naughty. It's when you try to hide things from kids that they yell it out on the bus for shock value because when they discover it on their own, it's not from someone who can present it in a mature manner. This book's use is mature.

So these stick-in-the-ass librarians need to seriously consider what they're objecting to because from my perspective, it looks like they think 'scrotum' is inappropriate for children because they're uncomfortable with the word themselves, probably because of the way it was presented to them.

Susan Patron is not out of line. If she said "balls" or "nads" or "sack" or "teabag" or--ok, I'm grossing myself out... but that'd be a different story. It's a scrotum. It's a thing. You've got one, Mr. Muller, and so do your third- and fourth-grade patrons, and I don't care about your own personal issues, but I seriously object to teaching kids that their bodies are something to be ashamed of. That goes for all of you.

UPDATE: I would like to apologize to Susan Patron that Blogger automatically alphabetizes my post labels.

Release.

Shit bitches!

None of you care, but with no ado, we have a release date for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. 7/21/07. Right near the movie.

So in about 6 months, the whole thing will be over. I'll have to find something worthwhile to do with my free time. Maybe that can include having a life.

OMG I can't decide who to preorder from OMG. Luckily, it's a on Saturday, so I don't have to take time off work.

Ok that's all, go away.

Bibliomaniac Mansion

Read this.

It's entertaining, but I guess you don't have to read the whole thing. The point is: weird, huh?

I'm totally fascinated and totally grossed out at the same time. I really want to strap on my E.T.-style biohazard suit and walk around in there. It reminds me of an unsanitary version of this bookstore in Bloomington, Indiana called Caveat Emptor. (I used that link because the store's website is down.) The stuff there was roughly organized by subject and then kinda by author, y'know, if you squint... that is if you don't count the piles of unsorted things in the aisles (haha, piles in the aisles) and boxes of miscellanea peppered throughout.

I would go to Caveat Emptor all the time and meander about. The experience appealed me in the typical "vast tomes of knowledge that been read by others and ended up here; who knows what stories are attached to these stories" way, but part of my experience there went beyond that. It wasn't until one afternoon when I was sitting in the science fiction section idly browsing while rearranging an unordered shelf when I realized what that extra thing was. Caveat Emptor and similarly cluttered used bookstores appeal to my sense of order. Or more precisely, my sense of ordering.

Ok, think about it. Browsing at Barnes and Noble or a library or my bookshelf at home has less excitement behind it because everything's right where it belongs. But crazy-ass used bookstores are like this chaotic system that by its nature wants to come to rest. (I don't know anything about chaos theory, so don't get all uppity because that's not what I'm referring to.)

My infinitely creative mind has thought up an analogy: It's like Tetris! Ok listen, so Tetris is super boring if you keep everything at the bottom and fill up one line at a time, right? Totally unsatisfying. The whole fun of Tetris is in building up these huge towers with one column open and then giving the whole structure a video smackdown when you finally get a couple straight pieces. Then, any mess you made can be systematically cleaned up before starting again. Without the mess, it's no fun. Order from chaos.

Sitting in a clean house feels really satisfying only when you remember how dirty it was before. It's all the same principle.

I would love to take a year and tear apart the "World's Most Dangerous Bookstore" (after decontamination and without the World's Most Dangerous Tangental Storyteller following me everywhere, of course) only to put it back together in my own special order complete with a detailed database of the contents. Hell, with a nice pair of barbeque tongs, I'd even sort through the girly magazines.

Ever since Caveat Emptor, I've had this private little dream of owning a used bookstore, but the business and customer service aspects of the whole experience are enough to help me dismiss the notion right away. Instead, I turned to my own book collection. I'm out of shelf space in my tiny apartment, but there are about 525 books that I turned into 525 cataloged and organized books in very little time indeed.... mostly because I took a couple weekends off from my social life to do it.

So I guess the moral of the story is that I'm a cataloger at heart and that there's a yucky, fat man in Oklahoma City with his presumably unwashed long hair in a messy braid who is standing in the way of my dreams.

Harry Potter and the.... oh... really?

So, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. The long-awaited title of book 7.

Are you impressed?

Sounds like a witchcraft manual to me. Or a vampire book you're not allowed to read unless you wear crosses and eyeliner to your 8th grade class pictures.

Maybe the problem is the other titles were "Harry Potter and a Person or Thing" and this one sound like "Harry Potter and a Setting", which is pretty much less intriguing than the others. It was fun to try to figure out who the Half-Blood Prince or the Prisoner of Azkaban were... or what the Goblet of Fire did besides dry your throat out when you drank from it. The Deathy Hallows? A place. Perhaps a place of some holy evil

So I dunno. It's fine. A title was a nice Christmas Eve Eve Eve present even though SOMEBODY TOLD IT TO ME before I could GO THROUGH THE DOOR ON JO'S SITE TO FIND OUT FOR MYSELF. But still, I think some other titles would have gotten me more excited for the release (not like I need it). I thought of some of my own, most of which would provide much better insights into the plot of the seventh book:

• Harry Potter and the Grisly Death of All of His Adolescent Friends
• Harry Potter and the Long Overdue Jump in Emotional Maturity
• Harry Potter and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day
• Harry Potter and the Death of Harry Potter on p. 783
• Harry Potter and the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
• Harry Potter and the Explanation of Why People Keep Mentioning His Eyes
• Hermione Granger and the Welcome Shift in Perspective
• Harry Potter and the Stuff He Learned After Hours with Oliver Wood
• Harry Potter and the Dark Side, or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love Voldemort

There are more. It's not too late, Jo. You can use one of my titles if you want. You don't have to pay me or anything, just put a link to my blog in your acknowledgements.

What do you think of the title?
	it sucks
	it is awesome
	i don't care as long as Ron and Hermione hook up
	i don't care, stop writing about Harry Potter in your blog, you loser
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