OH LOOK I DID ANOTHER FUCKING MEME!

Even if you don't care about what books I've read you should still read this because I make some awesome and mature puns!

The BBC believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here.

Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read.
2) Tally your total at the bottom.
3) Tag others and pass it on.

Here's the list:

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien [more like BORED of the Rings hu hu hu, I wish I'd thought of that myself]
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte [x]
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling [x]
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee [x]
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman [x]
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy [x -- one of my favorite books ever]
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare [Ok no but only because there are some works that are seriously skippable]
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien [x]
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger [x]
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald [x]
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy [more like BORE and Peace! Just kidding, I've never even tried this, I'm sure it's great]
25 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams [x]
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll [x]
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis [x]
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis [x]
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden [more like Memoirs of a Gaysha!]
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne [x]
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown [x-- more like The Da WINCY Code... because its so bad I winced all the time.... ok that one sucked]
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding [x (Bored of the Flies, yeah yeah, we get it already)]
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel [x]
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons [Moooooo! Frozen hamburgers!]
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens [x-- more like A Tale That's Too Shitty!]
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley [x-- I hate this book so much it doesn't even get an awesome pun]
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon [x]
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov [more like Ho-lita!]
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville [more like Moby DICK!... wait that doesn't work]
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker [x OMG BORING... more like.... more like... i got nothin' OH YES I DO: "This book sure SUCKED!"]
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White [x]
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad [x -- I also hated this book. Ummmm FART OF DARKNESS!]
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery [x-- favorite ever]
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole [x]
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl [x]
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Totes: 25.

1/4. Not bad

Analysis: WHO MADE THIS SHITTY LIST!!??! What is it even supposed to be? Books you should read because they're good? Books you should read if you don't want to make an effort developing ecclectic literary taste? Books that we have heard of here at BBC and thought would make us sound smart?

Is Hamlet somehow excluded from the works of Shakespeare? Was it necessary to exclude The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe from The Chronicles of Narnia at the expense of the 101st choice that didn't make the cut and was maybe the slightest bit outre and perhaps by a non-European/Russian?

Brave New World? Really???

Oh shit, am I in a bad mood? I didn't think I was in a bad mood, but now I'm acting like I am.

Oh, I gotta go! Facebook wants to teach me to make over $1,250 a week from my kitchen table in my underwear!

None For Meme, Thanks

There's this meme going around Facebook where you make a fake album cover for your fake band, and it's all based on random stuff. Here are the instructions:

1 - Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random. The title of the first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2 - Go to http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3. The last 4 or 5 words from the last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
3 - Go to http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days. The third photo is your album cover.
4 - Using photoshop or a similar design program, put it all together.
5 - Post it here with this text and TAG the friends you want to join in.

There's some variation, but this is the basic idea.

But there's no effing way I'm doing this. I opened up the first two pages in tabs, and the band name and title I got were (AND I SHIT YOU NOT):

Band name: Anus Language
Album: Powerful Muscles, But No Personality

The reason I am not Photoshopping this is because it gives a whole new meaning to this picture.

8 Things Meme

Nobody tagged me for this, but I'm doing it anyway to kill some time. It's one of those generic memes, and it goes thus:

Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

And I'll try to make it things you don't know.

1. The older I get, the less ashamed I am of being a nerd, and that's why I'm going to tell you that

2. One of the greatest pleasures in my life is knowing at the beginning of every week that I have my two Harry Potter podcasts, MuggleCast and PotterCast, waiting on my iPod to keep me entertained for two mornings. I never listen to them on the same day so I can draw it out and make the pleasure last.

3. I'm not even kidding.

4. Though there are many exceptions, in general I rather dislike being touched.

5. I hate alfalfa sprouts because they look like sperm and smell like semen, and that's why I refuse to put them in my mouth, which is rather ironic when you come to think of it.

6. Some people hate people you misuse "ironic." I, on the contrary, hate people who hate people who misuse "ironic" because even though it may be wrong in context, everybody knows what you mean by it so who cares?

7. I fantasize A LOT about doing violence to people who deserve it. Not gruesome bloody violence that would kill people, more like major kung fu grip and melting brains with my laser eyeballs, and I have this specific thing I want to do where I hold someone against the wall with my foot at their throat like Cameron Diaz in Charlie's Angels but nobody ever offends me enough to deserve it, that's why I never have.

8. I enjoy the following flavors: Robitussin, Pepto Bismol (only the real stuff, no generic brand), chewable Dimeatapp, the red strep throat medicine I used to always get, Advil, NyQuil.

Nobody tagged me, so I'm not tagging anyone. I don't want to make you guys feel obligated like I gave you homework.

Further updates: I started writing in my new book blog again, so you are all required to read it religiously. That's homework. Also, I watched The Witches of Eastwick and it was kinda bad. Apparently it was based on a book, and I bet it should have stayed that way. Now I want to see this movie, which is probably not based on a book. Its title is the best pun ever because it doesn't even rhyme, and I'm sad I didn't think of it myself.