In no universe that will ever exist should fried chicken look like this.
But y'know something, it tastes pretty damn ok. Nevermind that the batter part comes off in one piece and you can kind of put it back on like a little helmet.
So I'm going to go eat this meal while you all get excited thinking about how I'd be in my own damn cooking show. Pro Tip #1: Drink your orange juice out of a free wine glass so you can pretend you're not still in your underwear.
One of the great things about being unemployed is the time and energy to do stupid little projects that will inevitably fail. Last week I tried to make a collage, and I glued a bunch of paper to my little TV table accidentally and it took forever to get off. So that's gone. I also pulled out my old saxophone today and tried cleaning it up, but I broke something and now half of it won't work right.
So ok as I blog I am doing another stupid thing: Improvising Fried Chicken. I have these 4 chicken legs, right, and I've totally been craving fried chicken ever since I saw The Help last week, so I'm making it happen but none of the recipes I found are easy. They all say "Let this sit for 12 hours!" or "Go out to the store to get these things you don't already have in the house!" so they can all go eff themselves. (I'm talking to you, Food Network dot com!)
So anyway I put some flour in a bowl and then I put some paprika and cayenne pepper in it and then I drenched it in beer to make a paste. It looks just like cookie paste but is absolutely vile if you eat it. I also melted some lard in a soup pot because I don't have a frying pan. If you have anything to say about how I keep lard in the house, post it in the comments.
So now the chicken legs are frying in this pan and it smells absolutely amazing, but I'm pretty sure something horrible is about to happen, stay tuned.
So I've been jobless a month now. You might have thought "OH BOY HE HAS NO JOB HE WILL BLOG ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT UNTIL THE SUN COMES UP" but you were wrong. I've had far too many other things to do like nothing.
Honestly, I have almost nothing to show for the past month except failed eye surgery and my surprising ability not to go over budget on unemployment. I've also done some sitting and thinking about where I want to be professionally and creatively. No conclusions have been reached. You guys, WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MYSELF!?No it doesn't matter. For the moment I am very happy with no purpose. I'm seriously way quieter inside. I don't even get mad when people cut me off or block the subway doors, and it's not just because I'm no longer in a hurry.
Oh but do you want to hear something that IS pissing me off!? Yeah, this blog's new name is 'More Apartment Problems, Everyone!' because I have some major water damage on the ceiling of my kitchen and the backsplash. Wanna see?
Those pictures were taken Sunday, and it's much worse now. My building manager got a plumber here (in 2 days -- record time!) and apparently the apartment above me didn't know their kitchen sink was leaking water all over the floor. Because that's reasonable. Please spend all day dragging furniture around and dropping things on the floor so heavy that my lights flicker, yet fail to notice that you are swimming.
So everybody is invited to my party where I will have 16 sq. ft. of ceiling replaced as well as most of a wall and probably all of my cabinets and then a brand new paint job because this is exactly what I need to spend money on right now.