Buzz

Hello and welcome to Starbucks Blog where all I talk about is Starbucks every day! Ha ha, I'm just kidding.

Wait, no I'm not today I ordered a red eye because "It sounded good"--Ashanti. Huge mistake. On the upside, the taste of their ok espresso slightly masks the taste of their awful coffee. On the other hand, I didn't eat dinner last night but drank mismatching alcohols, so with the caffeine, I am in turns light-headed or heavy, hyper or mellow, starving or repulsed by food, and headachey or headachey in a slightly different region. Right now: light-headed/hyper/starving/center. Any portion of this Livejournal status is subject to change without warning.

[Time passes...]

Ok I went and ate a Bagel With Cream Cheese and Bacon, which is basically the 1-up mushroom of fatty hangover cures, so my humanity is restored.

The reason I was drinking is that it was karaoke league night. It didn't go too well, and I am disappointed. I only got ONE compliment: "You look good in a dress." While appreciated, I ALREADY KNOW THAT! Step it up, people! Last week someone asked if I was an actor or studied movement. Another kid told me I scared him. If you want Snooki: Reloaded to provide you with high-quality performances on a regular basis, you need to say nice things about me with great abandon EVEN WHEN WE DROP THE BALL LIKE WE SORTA DID LAST NIGHT SORRY! I will never again tolerate such disappointment.

It's the Only Thing

This morning I saw an old man who was NOT homeless reach down to a sewer grate, pick up a long-extinguished, belipsticked cigarette, put it to his mouth, and try to smoke it, and I thought: "Yeah, I really need to start blogging again."

Anyway Snooki and the Situations lost in the first round of finals last night, but at least it was to the team that went on to win the whole thing. I was like to add, however, that we were totally robbed and it is all SO LAME AND UNBELIEVABLE! Keep in mind that this in no way diminishes the Karaoke All-Stars' victory because they are awesome, but EVERYBODY SUCKS AND IS A CHEATER AND EVERYTHING IS TOTALLY UNFAIR AND IF I DON'T GET A PONY I SHALL SCREAM!

Oh, and before another person does this, if you say anything that resembles "Well it sounds like a great time anyway!" or "Well you sang awesome songs" or anything else that implies that winning isn't everything I will come over to your house and do something anatomically devastating to you.

In other news nothing, my whole life this month has been leading up to my weekly karaoke performances. Oh and I went to San Diego for a week but who cares?

We Have a Situation

Ok, apparently "Karaoke Champ" is a sort of karaoke company, and the actual venue of this league is called Karaoke Cave, a Karaoke Champ establishment. Karaoke Champ has a great song list, though, so we are pleased.

Our team has settled on a name, and it is the best name in the league, obviously. We are "Snooki and the Situations". I assume whoever is currently soloing gets to be Snooki.

This is free-for-all week, and the team has to perform 2 male solos, 2 female solos, and 2 group numbers. I am doing Kenny Chesney's She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy as my contribution. I will also be playing the part of Lil Kim in Lady Marmalade, hopefully, provided the girls intend to do the sexy girl parts. :-/ Two of our extremely talented ladies are singing Goodbye Earl and Natural Woman. I have to make an appearance at a choreography rehearsal for S's Bad Romance, and we'll finish up with "What's Up" by 4 Non-Blondes. A thrilling evening of thrills, and you're all invited... I think. I'm not actually sure how the spectator element works.

In any case, cheer me on in spirit, not like I'll need it. I KNOW my tractor's sexy.

Karaoke Dokie

So uhhh... alright! I've got some news and that news is that I just joined the NYC Karaoke League because apparently I have some sort of humiliation fetish. I don't have all the information, but I think it'll be on Wednesdays at Karaoke Champ, and you all have to come. Yes, even you in Idaho. That's right, I'm talking to you, DEVIN!

Ok I made up that name, but I totally just fucked with all the Idahoan Devins.

Actually, the concept of an Idahoan named Devin is probably an impossibility. Anyway, I'm going to do this thing. I'm on a team with 5 other people and basically it's costumes and theme nights and stage presence I don't have. I'm terrified.

Oh and we need a team name if you have any ideas, thx. Make sure they're not stupid before you suggest them.