Guys in Cheesy Professional Training Videos I Would Bang, Part 1

Remember FuncoLand? It's GameStop now. More importantly, did any of you work there in 1998? Because apparently you had to watch this drecky, overproduced training video to be a sales rep.

As training videos go, it's pretty good, actually. I remember working at the Buckle (yeah) the thing I had to watch had not creativity to it at all. Anyway, Adam, if you're out there, let me know how your acting career is going and maybe we can get together, yeah?

Oh and if you're wondering about the thrilling conclusion, here's the second part. (Seriously, I kinda got into this by the time he was collecting his second letter.)

Anyway, the point of this blog is that Adam is adorable, and I could watch him clean N64 games all day. I'm pretty sure that dad in the orange feels the same way.

Cafe Olé

Guys I have wonderful news! I think I'm officially flirting with the guy at my new favorite coffee shop.

Ok, so I recently discovered Joe: The Art of Coffee in Grand Central which has super strong super good coffee so I hike over there every morning now and usually there is this cute blonde skinny boy in a hat (the same hat always) working the espresso machine and I like to look at him and he always smiles and says here you go real nice when he gives me my soy au lait.

Anyway today I was amongst a whole bunch of Australian businessmen somehow and I didn't think my boy was there, just all the girls who work, but then he came out from the back and was hanging out because there were girls manning the register and the machine, and he kept looking over and me and smiling bashfully and looking away, so I did it back and then he walked up and took my cup out of the line-up and made my drink! OMG love, is this what you taste like? Rich and bitter and... with soy?

Right so I am officially going back every morning for some serious cup-o'-joe mojo with my new sexy latte boy who's probably too young for me. Pray it keeps me up all night.

New Game!

It occurs to me that my last entry was a little weird, a little depressing, and not the slightest bit funny. All in all, zero stars and totally not the way I wanna make my comeback.

SO, I'm going to tell you about a new game I just made up. It's called "Smell the Intern" and how you play is you go smell the new British intern over there and then swoon and die over how hot he is.

I played two times today because I keep finding excuses to walk by him.

His name is John, and he is the second in a series of Hot Foreign Interns with Weird Hair, but where the last intern had weird bad hair, the one has weird good hair that I want to touch. The last one was Dutch. This one is British.

The only problem with this intern is that he doesn't know he's in love with me. He's nicer to Liz than to me even though she's a married woman and I'm his destiny. It's weird, but I'm sure if I keep playing my game he'll come around.

Today At Lunch

During lunch this kid on the street in a bright yellow shirt stopped me in the cutest way, and he was really friendly and really hot. He had perfect hair and perfect teeth and I could tell he worked out. He was 19, which is perhaps a little young for me, but I've been known to make exceptions in extreme cases like this one. We talked about my work and how he's a student who is sadly out of money and has to quit his job at the end of the week and move back home for the rest of the summer until the semester begins. His name is Alberto and he's originally from Equador, though he had no accent. It doesn't get much sexier than that.

So we were talking for about 10 minutes, but I only half heard what he was saying because I was rendered temporarily deaf by his killer forearms and green eyes. As a result, now I'm saving the life of a kid in Egypt for just a dollar a day.

At least when my penis starts using my credit card, it makes the world better.