I have this total cottage cheese craving right now.

Hi I'm back. I'm a really busy guy lately. In a nutshell, here is what I am busy with:

More of the same.

If you want more detailed details, you can make them up and if they have to do with playing video games, eating pastrami, or seeing the new Indiana Jones movie, you are correct.

I was going to write about my reunion, remember?, only I realized that I don't feel like talking about my FEELINGS. Basically let's say that I still love all my old college friends, and even though we've all grown and changed, we still fit together really well, and I also pretty much think we should all live in the same place again. I approached the weekend thinking we'd sort of relive our past experiences, but we really weren't doing that even though we spent half the time talking about that past. This was especially evident when we realized all the restaurants we used to like SUCK NOW! Talk about dropping the freaking ball. Who'd have thought Asian food could suck so hard in podunk Ohio?

Nothing else has really changed, though, oh except this beautiful freshman turned into an UGMO fifth-year. But other than that, Yoko's still loco, my old professor is still robbing the cradle, and the conservatory library smells as it always did and makes me tired.

This is Bonnie taken in my totally dank dormroom with zero light.

This is Kim.

This is Kimtard.

Here is Chris and Janey.

Here are the most delicious garlic tots ever. My breath reeked for a week.

This is me and my pot belly in the con library.

These are the chairs in the library I slept in more than my bed.

Lastly, Mischka took this, but Bonnie and Jill look so beautiful I wanted to share.

Ok, that's all. I have to go do a crossword now so I can learn new words with which to dazzle your mind!

Crappiest Blog Entry in History

Yesterday was Yelp Gay Night VI at the remarkably unremarkable G-Lounge and it was fun but I have no pictures because I forgot my camera but my hair was awful anyway so I don't care.

There was this kid there who was really cute until you realize he has no personality or sense of humor. A bunch of us were in a minivan cab later and he was next to me in the back and he made some reference to Aaliyah that didn't make any sense and basically shut everybody up because nobody knew what he was talking about and in the middle of the awkward silence I said "I liked her in that vampire movie" IRONCALLY and everyone got it and laughed but he said to me like "Good, everyone thought I was a freak but now they think you are too so it's not so bad" because he missed the point entirely, the point being that it was a jab at him and that I am a cooler and he is a drooler.

At least I think everyone got it, maybe there were really laughing at me so let me announce that I'VE NEVER SEEN THAT SHITTY MOVIE. Anyway the point is that later apparently my friend touched him in the bathroom because my friend's a slutbag and that's why I like him. I can say that because he reads my blog now.

Anyway that story was more funny last night when I remembered it better and was drinking, so I'm not going to tell any more of it. Look, I took more pictures with my cat in them. She got an Easter basket from my mom with nothing for me inside.

Also here's a MySpace-style picture of my butt and lower abdomen for Bagel. Don't worry, this doesn't count as the backlit sexy one you requested, I'm having trouble working the lighting for that one. I'll work it out.

This pic can also be found on my Flickr, Facebook, and hopefully one day on gay.com so I can get all the boys.

Bad Hair Day: The Photoessay

I'm being lazy lately on the writing front, so here's another photoessay. This one's name I call "Bad Hair Day 101." It is 12 steps for how to create a bad hair day and feel stupid all day until your coworker says "Oh your hair looks good today" and then you feel ok for 5 minutes until you see a mirror and realize she's just crazy.

Incidentally, I also really like the second picture down.

Moral of the photostory: If you can't look good, smell ok.

Here's a picture of my cat.

Yelp Party Photos (5)

Here are pictures from the Yelp.com Elite event at 49 Grove, which was the first event I took the new boy to, but he hates all the pictures of him from the night, so I'm going to keep them off here except they're on my Flickr. I'm just gonna post one of him. This is the world's shortest photo essay. It starts with this great picture of me and a friend of mine and has the same ending as Cloverfield.

Yeah, we wear fucking nametags WANNA MAKE SOMETHING OF IT!?!

Here is our host who wears a nametag too.

Here is the sexy new boy about to catch some bugs.

Ok that's all the pictures I'm gonna show because you probably don't give a shit anyway. I gotta shower.

GODZILLA ATTACKS TOKYO!!@!#!!!!21

Daily Curios

America eats some real disgusting stuff.

Tuscaloosa Cookie Man is Kinda Cute

Remember the Vegetable Orchestra? This one's out of car parts.

Epic Fail Guy -- Can someone explain this to me?

Nobody better bother me because I'm mad.

Flimflammed! Bamboozled! Hoodwinked! Egads, I'm upset!

A friend of mine has seen fit to dangle in front of me a shiny golden trinket, only to reveal later that it resides behind an invisible web of DECEIT!

I was supposed to go to the premiere of There Will Be Blood at the Ziegfeld tonight. I have this spiff new outfit for the occasion (as well as for a show premiere in LA this weekend, but pretend that's not happening to enhance the indignation.) Anyway, it should be clear by the fact that I'm blogging that I'm not wearing my sexy outfit on a red carpet with Daniel Day-Lewis! Instead, I'm sitting at home on my couch ALL BY MYSELF IN MY VOLDEMORT T-SHIRT! Yeah, I was stood up. AM BEING stood up.

Here's a MySpace-style mirror self-portrait to illustrate my annoyance:

Can't you just feel the flames of wrath?

Actually, I'm not in as shitty a mood as I could be, but it sure is fun to pretend. FUCK YOU!

Anyway, since I never post pictures of myself, let's take this opportunity to examine how much I've grown. Here's a closer, less irate, but still slightly constipated-looking shot:

You will notice that my hair is quite a bit longer than it used to be. It has also stayed a vibrant shade of red instead of fading to the anemic strawberry blonde of yestermonth. But mostly, I want to show off my new Voldemort t-shirt that I got on the Internet.

I'd also like to point out my enormous Jew nose, proving my ancestry for those who may think I was born gentile like my "friend" did today.

Anyway, enough examining my face. Put it back in your pants. I'm lookin' at you, Bagel.) I'm in a bad mood for being stood up, so I don't feel like being the object of anyone's affection. Oh, and by the way, observe here the cherry on top of a fabulous evening:

KT Tunstall @ Highline Ballroom

Last night I schlepped my ass over to the Highline Ballroom again for the KT Tunstall concert. You will kindly recall that I went there about a month ago for a Pipettes concert. It's a nice space. Clean, friendly, well-ventilated, neat balcony area, overpriced bar, fun colored lights. As far as New York performance spaces go, this is one of them.

As far as KT goes, well... First of all, she was late. An hour late, a whole hour! And the Ballroom was playing some pretty shitty music while we stood there. Luckily, the boy to my right was super cute and all alone, so I mostly passed the time daydreaming about inviting him over to stand with me. I'm not sure who's fault it was that everything was behind, but considering some guy was still screwing around with microphones and guitars 40 minutes after the show was supposed to have started, I'm going to assume it was somebody's.

Then KT got on stage, sang some songs, left, came back, sang some more songs, and left again.

And that's really all there is to say. It was a solid set. The songs from her upcoming album are entertaining and kind of taking her in a new direction. One of them even made me want more beer.... y'know, instead of a nonfat latte. So that's on the list. The first single from the album is the best one, but I can't remember what it's called. Oh, and she had a thousand more musicians behind her than I expected. A SEXY guitarist, a drummer, a keyboard/trumpet/garbage-lid guy, two girl backup singers I wouldn't have noticed if they weren't introduced, and a bass/cello guy. I was nervous she would sound... I dunno... overdone... but it worked!

The concert felt short, probably because there was no opening act. I was also in a sort of zone and just went with it. Anyway, I was pleased. There's my million-dollar review.

Now, a note about taking pictures at concerts and how impossible it is: It's impossible! Well, for me. I have a regular person cheap camera, no photographer skillz, no idea what the camera functions do, and a serious aversion to using a flash because it a) flattens images and makes them all fake and b) negates all the cool colored stage lights. So I was a little bit back from the stage playing with settings, zooming in, and doing my best. I took 116 pictures. I was able to salvage 25 of them in Photoshop, and they're still all blurry and grainy, but some of them have bright colors, so I'm fine with it. I guess. Here's a selection. You decide:

If you want to see the rest, here's the link to the set. The thumbnails make them look awesome, it's the actual-sized versions that have problems. I bet with a better camera and maybe a class I'd be a fab photographer. Anyone got $1,000?

Hey, I wonder if that guy I linked to last time when he reviewed the Pipettes concert was at this one....checking.... He was! Ok, read his review at Music Snobbery too because he knows actual things about music and though some of his pictures may SEEM the same as mine, they have actual quality in them. Oh, and based on the angle of these shots and recognizing him from the Pipettes concert (it's easy to tell because he has a nice camera), I totally know who this guy is and he doesn't know me. I feel like a perv.

Pictures from that Texas trip

When I told my mom that one of the lampposts in front of the library fell on a guy and knocked him out and they had to take him to the hospital, she said "Oh no, will they be able to put it back up?"

Anyway, even though it was about over a month ago, I figured it was still ok for me to post some pictures of my texas trip. They're crappy. I don't take pictures good. I will post some favorites, but if you want, you can look at the whole set on Flickr and leave lots of comments. They're all from San Antonio, and I haven't gotten around to titling and tagging some of them.

The last two are my favorites because I love when you go to really old places that have become touristy and you see stuff like that when you're supposed to be experiencing a thing that's hundreds of years old. It destroys the whole experience, but it makes me laugh every time.

Vanity Post!

So I finally found the cord that connects my camera to my computer! The only pictures on there were before and after photos from when I colored my hair and one of some funny Pocky and even though you saw my new hair when I was a famous model I don't care.

before

after

WHY IS EVERYTHING I OWN RUBBISH!?!