Eggregious

So last night I did some food experimentation in the form of this recipe for Tea Marbled Eggs I saw in the back of a mystery novel about tea. The book is called Death by Darjeeling by Laura Childs, and I haven't read it yet. Anyway basically you make hard boiled eggs, and when they're about done, you crack them lightly with a spoon and then let them simmer in water with way too much tea in it. After an hour and a bunch, they come out looking more or less like this but probably better because I messed up a couple of them:

Pretty cool, huh? Anyway, chop them in half, sprinkle some paprika and chopped parsley, and you've got a neat little hors d'œuvre,

Mine didn't turn out so great because of the botched ones you can see where the ends turned totally brown and also because I don't think my eggs were still good. They had plenty of time left according to the package, but they didn't smell great. So I didn't eat them, basically it was a disposable art project. Sorry, starving children!

The rest of the night was spent watching the end of season 5 of Desperate Housewives, which was too predictable to be terribly entertaining. Oh and I watched half of Mary Reilly, that Julia Roberts film from 1996 where she is the chambermaid of Dr. Jekyll. It's just alright.

Tonight's project: salmon with agave glaze and citrus salsa verde and a side of herbed quinoa. Then I'll watch Roswell with Ryan and probably eat all the cookies in the house.

I was hoping if I just started typing about my life, I'd come up with something funny to say, but I didn't, so you suffered through this for nothing HA!

Ennui Are the World

Dudes, we have a problem, and that problem is not that my coworker is watching YouTube videos of what can only be Pokemon that are making me miss my DS and the days when Pokemon and Xena were the most important things. No this problem is much more serious and it is that I am becoming boring!
It's true! I don't know if it's increased age, increased heft, or something more sinister, but I'm starting to think my extended motivational/creative dry spell isn't just a phase but a FUNDAMENTAL ALTERATION IN MY VERY ESSENCE!
I no longer:

• write
• photograph
• read as much
• doodle little piece of shit alien dinosaurs on post-it notes at work and then dream of transcribing them into paintings on little ceramic tiles to decorate my apartment and give as gifts
• make a concentrated effort to do these things

Instead I:

• work really hard at my job neglecting important things like the internet
• sit and watch cable
• eat all the potato chips
• DVR Food Network competition shows
• know everything that is going on in Gossip Girl, Glee, Skins, Smallville unfortunately, and Wizards of Waverly Place
• gain like 10 pounds

I know I've mentioned this before (maybe too much) but I'm starting to wonder if something's really happening to my brain. Last night, for example, I stayed up past midnight watching old episodes of Sister, Sister on the Gospel Music Channel.
THIS IS NOT A THING SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE DO!
Anyway, I actually started writing this entry yesterday and it turned into a 20-paragraph essay exploring my mental problems. It was actually very enlightening to write and I'm keeping it for my personal collection of ramblings, but it's too serious and personal for this medium.
The conclusion of the ramble is convoluted and would make a good optimistically melancholy movie produced by Focus Features, but the solution I'm telling you guys I came up with is "STFU IF YOU'RE BORING GET UNBORING (i.e. UNLAZY)!"
That's too hard for right now, but to pass the time I made up a riddle are you ready?
Q: Who was cute and then stopped being cute and now is cute again?
A: Ben Savage
I know, right? Observe.

Aww.

Oh.

:-)

Topanga.

I have this total cottage cheese craving right now.

Hi I'm back. I'm a really busy guy lately. In a nutshell, here is what I am busy with:

More of the same.

If you want more detailed details, you can make them up and if they have to do with playing video games, eating pastrami, or seeing the new Indiana Jones movie, you are correct.

I was going to write about my reunion, remember?, only I realized that I don't feel like talking about my FEELINGS. Basically let's say that I still love all my old college friends, and even though we've all grown and changed, we still fit together really well, and I also pretty much think we should all live in the same place again. I approached the weekend thinking we'd sort of relive our past experiences, but we really weren't doing that even though we spent half the time talking about that past. This was especially evident when we realized all the restaurants we used to like SUCK NOW! Talk about dropping the freaking ball. Who'd have thought Asian food could suck so hard in podunk Ohio?

Nothing else has really changed, though, oh except this beautiful freshman turned into an UGMO fifth-year. But other than that, Yoko's still loco, my old professor is still robbing the cradle, and the conservatory library smells as it always did and makes me tired.

This is Bonnie taken in my totally dank dormroom with zero light.

This is Kim.

This is Kimtard.

Here is Chris and Janey.

Here are the most delicious garlic tots ever. My breath reeked for a week.

This is me and my pot belly in the con library.

These are the chairs in the library I slept in more than my bed.

Lastly, Mischka took this, but Bonnie and Jill look so beautiful I wanted to share.

Ok, that's all. I have to go do a crossword now so I can learn new words with which to dazzle your mind!

Here is my update

Hooray I still have a hangover headache from two days ago!

Anyway Friday I met The Architect's parents, who are fabulous. Dadchitect is enormous, which was intimidating until I realized we were going to dinner and not Wrestlemania, and Archimom reminded me of my Aunt Kathy's sister, and therefore somewhat of my Aunt Kathy, both of whom I like.

Oh, and I was asleep by 11 that night because as I've mentioned before The Architect and I are geriatrics and so we were up way early and he went out running while I stayed in like a housewife darning socks reading my book. Hey The Architect, I have an idea for our next date. Let's eat dinner at 4:30 and then go home and watch The Blue Lagoon but fall asleep halfway through. I'm serious.

The rest of the weekend I played video games and watched movies like The Dark Crystal and Speed Racer because on top of being a geriatric, I am also a 10-year-old.

Speed Racer was pretty much a 2-hour sugar rush and shitty but in a good way where you just have to say "This is a racing movie" and you get over the fact that it's kinda bad. Susan Sarandon is in it, and you could see it in her eyes: "OMG I hate reciting these cliche lines but at least this isn't The Hunger, God that movie sucked." She was thinking of The Hunger the whole time.

The visual style of SR was also pretty awesome because I like bright colors and shiny things. I also enjoyed this visual style:

Too bad his character eats it in the opening sequence SPOILER ALERT!

Selling It

Regarding my boring not-fit-to-blog life, David told me to sell it, to SELL the paint drying, so that is what I am going to do. Please give me $50 to continue reading.

This is my stuffed Wailord, the baleen whale Pokemon, flying in from the west. He is a stuffed animal Kevin gave me because he knows good friends are the ones that give the most presents. Right now Wailord is guardian of my pirated DVD's.

Wailord is enormous, which reminds me of this woman at the gym today. She was at the bench next to me laying on it with her legs in the air doing crunches and she had this big ol' chick butt, right, and I went over to rack some dumbbells and get smaller ones because I am a pitiful weaking when she farted right there with her ass in the air!

It was so loud I thought Jesus was coming back but then I realized what happened and was able to save myself from falling to my knees. I didn't want to go back over to my bench so I just pretended to look at the weights for a while when I realized the weights I wanted were on the rack right next to her butt so I decided to do another exercise instead.

I dunno why when that happens everyone's supposed to keep quiet and pretend they didn't notice because it's so awkward that way and it's not OUR fault, so anyway any normal person would have the decency to run away crying but not her, she just kept on crunching, which I guess I'm supposed to respect but I just don't. At least she wasn't doing squats.

Right so moving on these next three pictures represent the TOTALLY AWESOME BORING STUFF I DID LAST NIGHT:

I read a book with my cat.

I ate this sandwich. (Foot-longs at Subway are just $5 for a limited time only!)

I organized my comic books and caught up because I was a few months behind in reading. I'd just like to say that if the Buffy series doesn't freaking quit it with the over-the-top ridiculous Dracula crap I'm doing to quit reading them, just kidding I'm too much of a fanboy to quit so I'll just go over there and do violence on the writers.

BANG like that!!!

Oh my God, I can't believe I read comic books... it just sort of occured to me...

Miss me?

A couple people have asked me why I barely ever blog anymore, so I am going to tell you about my night last night, and you'll understand why.

Last night I got home from work and played video games for an hour. Then I watched a shitty movie, put some photos on Flickr, and read Harry Potter for a while. I also ate a frozen mini-pizza and updated my calendar that I never use. Then I made a big to-do list and then did some of the things on the to-do list.

Now I will tell you about the last date I had.

The last date I had was Saturday and we went out and ate dinner after he got his hair cut. Then when my friend failed to call me back regarding her brother-in-law's klezmer concert, we wandered around and then went home where we watched Return of the King, the extended edition, but we didn't even make it halfway through before we got tired and went to bed at 11:30 without sex of any sort.

Now I will tell you about last week when I got sick.

Last week I got sick and sat around playing video games all day. Like... ALL DAY. I fell into that video game coma where you get obsessed in that bored way and when you turn the system off, you can't think of anything else to do because it's ALL boring and at least video games are boring and lazy, so you turn it back on even though you're really sick of playing video games and gaining weight all day. I call it Ennwii.

To conclude, I barely blog anymore because my life is like paint drying except for the slight change in color making the paint a little more interesting.

Tweakend

I guess I missed the Black Party

Let's see, what did I do this weekend oh that's right NOTHING!

Friday night I was all primed for a cozy night in reading and cleaning because all of my friends had other plans, but then I got dead tired and was sleeping by 9 because I am a geriatric.

I also saw Horton Hears a Who, which is about an elephant and his speck. It's pretty good. There's also a little fuzzy yellow thing named Katie, who has some problems.

Anyway then I had dinner with The Architect on Saturday and we went to a place I had been before except this time we ordered a bottle of wine that was probably the best bottle of wine ever made. Ok backstory: First of all, we had two waiters: Hot Waiter and Less Hot Waiter. Hot Waiter brought us a bottle of wine but when we smelled it, it was like nail polish remover, and when we tasted it, it was like nail polish remover, and Hot Waiter agreed. Enter Less Hot Waiter who decided to tell us there was nothing wrong with it like he knew anything. He became my enemy and officially "Less Hot" and we got a new bottle anyway, which ended up being this delicious perfect spicy cherry wine.

I don't have pics from the weekend yet, so here's something else. That's my building on the left.

Hot Waiter was mostly hot because he had good hair that I wanted. The best part about the wine is that when we got the check, we weren't charged for it. Anyway, at about 10 I found out that The Architect is a geriatric too because we both got really tired and went home to bed so we could wake up in time for the WORST HANGOVER HEADACHES EVER!

Then we played with his brand new dual shower head, which was really WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW! I'm only telling you about that because The Architect's mom reads my blog now because apparently he couldn't think of any other way to show her a picture of me. Yeah, now you know he is an Advanced Genius Level Architect. AGLA. Agla Khan.

Then we had brunch with shitty coffee and went on a walk and I came home to "put up my shelves" which is code for "watch TV for 5 hours." THE END

Daily Curios: Absentee Father Edition

Ok ok, so the whole motivational fibrous post-regularly thing didn't pan out. But Q: Who's crying over my absence? A: Nobody.

To update, I saw like 3 concerts and met someone neat and mostly sat in my apartment eating candy and cookies and giant cheeseburgers, which coincidentally, is what I plan on doing this evening.

I am Codename: Loser. Look at this stuff:

Stuff White People Like

White Ninja made me snort at work.

Twice.

Business Time

20 Products Guaranteed to Anger God

Colin: Would you eat a chocolate cruficix?
Me: Yes.
Colin: Me too.

And lastly: Stuffed Animals Inside-Out (Link ganked from Ze Frank)

in the what? : February 2007

I was looking back at my blog archives this morning, and I realized that I used to write a hell of a lot more. I'd have these entries with actual words and more than one of them a week even. It was this GOLDEN AGE.

So new goal: do that again. But not right now. Instead, let's take a trip back.

February 2007 Archives

Went on a date with a hot Icelander but was too culturally retarded.

I am Britney Spears with a cat

Chinese people are crazy

Asshole cab experience makes me hate brown people.

Will you be my Valentine?