Selling It

Regarding my boring not-fit-to-blog life, David told me to sell it, to SELL the paint drying, so that is what I am going to do. Please give me $50 to continue reading.

This is my stuffed Wailord, the baleen whale Pokemon, flying in from the west. He is a stuffed animal Kevin gave me because he knows good friends are the ones that give the most presents. Right now Wailord is guardian of my pirated DVD's.

Wailord is enormous, which reminds me of this woman at the gym today. She was at the bench next to me laying on it with her legs in the air doing crunches and she had this big ol' chick butt, right, and I went over to rack some dumbbells and get smaller ones because I am a pitiful weaking when she farted right there with her ass in the air!

It was so loud I thought Jesus was coming back but then I realized what happened and was able to save myself from falling to my knees. I didn't want to go back over to my bench so I just pretended to look at the weights for a while when I realized the weights I wanted were on the rack right next to her butt so I decided to do another exercise instead.

I dunno why when that happens everyone's supposed to keep quiet and pretend they didn't notice because it's so awkward that way and it's not OUR fault, so anyway any normal person would have the decency to run away crying but not her, she just kept on crunching, which I guess I'm supposed to respect but I just don't. At least she wasn't doing squats.

Right so moving on these next three pictures represent the TOTALLY AWESOME BORING STUFF I DID LAST NIGHT:

I read a book with my cat.

I ate this sandwich. (Foot-longs at Subway are just $5 for a limited time only!)

I organized my comic books and caught up because I was a few months behind in reading. I'd just like to say that if the Buffy series doesn't freaking quit it with the over-the-top ridiculous Dracula crap I'm doing to quit reading them, just kidding I'm too much of a fanboy to quit so I'll just go over there and do violence on the writers.

BANG like that!!!

Oh my God, I can't believe I read comic books... it just sort of occured to me...

Busty the Vampire Slayer

Speaking of celebrity racks, let's take a look at the cover for the long-awaited (for me, at least) Issue #5 of the Buffy Season 8 comic. The entire issue is devoted to a decoy Buffy, which is why the figure is pulling her skin off. Most unsavory.

But ok, back on topic. Do you not find hilarious the rip in her top revealing a glimpse of Buffy underboob? What's that all about?

I don't read a lot of comic books. In fact, if you don't count The Sandman series, I've read exactly 4, and I bet you can guess what they are. (Hint: We're discussing #5.) Yet, I still am hyper-aware of all the ridiculous boob-enhancing outfits those impossibly thin superchicks vacuum seal themselves into. And is this really necessary with our Buffy, who may I remind you was created as a symbol of feminism?

I'm not offended because I don't effing care about exploiting Buffy. It's just kinda funny.

But what does bother me is that... ok... we're dealing with a seasoned warrior who has kicked the ass of every demon she has faced for 9 years. Are you honestly telling me that homegirl ain't wearing a spors bra? I'm not a girl or a fighter, but it seems obvious that if you're gonna be punching and running and being thrown across the room, you're gonna want a little support.

Am I wrong?

Kiss of the Spider Man

Ok, ignore the fact that Library Journal is one of my main sources of entertainment news and check out this little blurb about Spiderman, the musical. (Marvel site)

One the one hand, Spiderman is my hero and Julie Taymor knows her shit. And if Legally Blonde can do it...

On the other hand, I feel like the superhero genre is not one that will lend itself to a musical theatre adaptation without coming off as some horrible mockery. I mean, think about it. The list of musical numbers... "Action is My Reward", "Pow! Thwack! Zowie!", "My Spider Sense Is Tingling", "Ouch, That Fucking Bug Just Bit Me!" Hmmm, actually.... ok I've changed my mind. Spiderman the musical is going to be AWESOME! I'm suddenly thinking I'd be a more desirable songwriter than Bono and The Edge, but I also hate U2 and that counts as a bias. Whatever, provided they manage to provide something less mediocre than their regular fare and it can sustain a 2+ hour musical, I'd say Broadway's ready for some springy, high-flying fun!