Our Nation is Capital

I did a bajillion things this weekend including look cute, go to some parties, meet some out of town friends, and not have any time to myself. The highlight was before my friend's production of On the Town in Staten Island, the whackjob director said a few words and then made some horrible joke about Obama and McCain being there and introducing them and being all shocked when they didn't come out. Everyone in the theater was sitting there totally uncomfortable like "Good God this is so unfunny stupid that we want to leave but we can't because we have to see our friend perform in this crazy fat man's show." And then he said "Well, you know who IS here is our very own senator Hillary Clinton!" And I was prepared for another STUPID AWKWARD SILENCE when Senator Clinton inevitably failed to show up on stage but WONDERS BEHOLD there she was: a woman dressed as Hillary Clinton walking to the mike.

She gave some miserably unfunny speech about how she sang the national anthem on YouTube and being so proud to be there. It was the most tasteless display I think I've ever seen, one of those things where you're embarassed to even exist in this world because you have to share it with people who find this amusing. Then to finish up she made us all stand while she sang the Star Spangled Banner in this warbly church lady mezzo, complete with the wannabe diva leap of a partial on "o'er the land of the freeeeeEEEEEEE!" I felt like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad at an Iranian gay pride parade: "This isn't happening. This isn't happening. It must be destroyed."

Here's a picture Cindy took of Christian and me where if we were a band, this would be our ablum cover except where I'm brighter and he's darker.

Crash, Burn

I have a curse. Did you know? A real one. From a witch.

The witch in question is whatever ex-boyfriend I feel like blaming when the curse takes effect. The curse itself is that one time and only one time every winter, I will slip and fall spectacularly, injuring my tailbone and my pride in the process. EVERY WINTER! But just once!

This is me.

Last year, I was lucky because I slipped outside of the laundry room early on a Saturday, and nobody was around. Two years before that was the worst one emotionally because it happened when I had been looking for a parking space for 30 minutes and was already running late for my interview with the Indiana University musicology department. I was walking with serious purpose down the road in my new overcoat and cute outfit when I hit a patch of black ice and my legs FLEW into the air like a cartoon character! I landed flat on my back in SO much pain and SOAKED. So I entered my interview totally pissed off, which was only made worse because my first interviewer was a dickbag. Whatever, I got in the program anyway, which goes to show that I'm smarter than a sore ass.

Anyway, you may have guessed that this season's humiliating crash came today in a season I thought was safe because we have had NO ICE OR SNOW SO FAR! Turns out all I need is drizzle and a staircase.

Yes, a staircase. I fell down the stairs on the way to the subway this morning. Don't worry, I didn't tumble and break all my bones. It was more like the IU Interview Day fall where my legs flew out in front of me (WAAUGHH!) and I landed on my ass on the stairs... and slid down the last five. And cut my hand.

The woman behind me was really nice and made sure I was alright even though the fall made my umbrella open at her and she could have easily killed herself too. Another woman asked "Are you ok?" but walked by without waiting for an answer. I love that unique brand of New York compassion. Anyway, now my ass hurts again.

The worst part about a bruised tailbone is that it's impossible to sit comfortably. I've been shifting in my chair like I have hemorrhoids all day. Worse still, I have shoe crap all over my butt. At least I'm wearing ugly clothes today.

I choose to blame the Witch Ben, even though he's not a proper ex. He never called me back, so gets to be the asshole. I HOPE YOU BURN LIKE MY ASS!

Warning, the Internet's not private PEOPLE ARE READING WHAT YOU SAY!!!

I wasn't going to tell anybody this until after my vacation (oh, I'm going on vacation Thursday-Tuesday, don't expect to hear much from me)... anyway, I wasn't going to say anything yet, but something happened and now I want to. So I started a new blog. It's not original or good or anything, it's just about the books I read and stuff. I did it because I have met some neat people lately who share the same taste as I do, and I thought it'd be fun to have a place of my own to talk about that stuff where it wouldn't be interrupted with talk about my night at the bar or pictures of my fat butt.

The site is called Booky Ooky and I called it that because my cat told me to. Anyway, the reason I am bringing it up is because I wrote up a little review of this book I read over the weekend and didn't really like. It was fast and off-the-cuff like everything I ever do, and so I posted it and forgot about it until two hours later when I got my first comment. I was so excited because nobody knew about my new blog, so I was amazed someone stumbled upon a review I had written two hours earlier.

Well it turns out the comment was from the AUTHOR of the book I had just sorta trashed. So clearly he is obsessed with reading what people say about his work and is also Nancy Drew.

His comment makes me like him a lot. I dunno why. I just like him. But as I was just telling a friend in an e-mail, I feel really weird and bad and awkward because my lame, half-assed opinion of a book that I wrote about in my shitty blog actually reached the author of said book, which is not something I ever thought would happen unless I met J.K. Rowling on the street and freaked out with praise and adulation before I fainted on her. It's very bizarre.

But the good part is that my very first comment was from a semi-famous author (who's name and book I am not saying here because I am hiding from him) and how many people can say that, y'know?

Anyway, go check out the blog if you want. It's way under construction. My CSS skillz suck major, and I don't know dick one about PHP/MySQL, so Wordpress is still very daunting. And there's no blogroll yet, so don't get offended that you're not on it.