Tonight is a going away party for my friend. He's leaving for Brazil to study, and we're not sure when he's coming back. I want to bring some gifts for him so he'll remember America, specifically midwestern America. So far, I am bringing a miniature apple pie (in a package like you get at a gas station) as well as a tiny American flag.
All I can think of besides that is a 50-gallon fish tank, piss beer, and those little concrete dress-up geese. So I am here brainstorming. Welcome to my new blog. Now bear with me.
When I think of America.... America....... *blurry transition*...... what do I see?
Freedom! Democracy! Capitalism! Politics! Macaroni salad!
Excellent. I have a side dish to bring to the party. ... and I think it stops there. The only other things I can think of that remind me of America are terrorism and obesity. But nobody likes those gifts.
I like the gift of obesity. It's truly the gift that keeps on giving.
ReplyDeleteActually, it's the gift that keeps on taking. I was behind a fat chick at a buffet once, and she took the last 5 pieces of fried chicken, so I didn't get to have any. Man.
ReplyDelete