Woe, as I say, and betide

Yeah, I deleted the last entry. Bad form, I know, ok, get over it.

Yesterday I was awoken at 6 by the neighbor's dog, kept up by the recycling guy dumping bottles, tortured by no hot water in the shower, and annoyed when not one, not two, but three subway trains passed me by because there were so many people waiting. I was dehydrated, tired, and unable to focus. But my day turned around when I took an hour-long nap after lunch in the "Quiet Room", my new favorite staff area.

But apparently one aggravating morning wasn't enough. Oh no. Not if you get a nap, you have to get another crappy morning so we can have another go at screwing up a whole day! So I woke up well because I set my alarm to my new KT Tunstall album, so I was like singing from the second note in, which was nice. And then I screwed around for a while and showered and was like "Ooh, I totally get to be on time today!" But I get to the subway station, and there's this announcement that's all "Oops, yeah, we fucked everything up. The six train's all broke, so we put a 4 train or two on the local tracks. They're at 126th St. Thanks for being patient." Yeah, you're welcome, except I'm NOT being patient. After maybe 15 minutes, the first train comes, but there are SO many people on it. One old guy tried to get on like an idiot. He was standing half on the platform and then he's all surprised when the door starts closing on him. What a maroon. I made a mental note to displace him when the next train came.

Unfortunately, that wasn't for another 15 to 20 minutes. However, thoughts of him were discarded when the door stopped directly in front of me. There was room for one skinny person with a shoulder bag. Serendipity at last! But again, I was reminded the dismal state of human intelligence when about 6 tried to fit in after me. I stood my ground (not that I could move anywhere if I wanted to.) A women behind me was like "Do you think you people could move in a little? I know there's room, I can see it." Now this was ridiculous because the woman was about 5 and a half feet tall and couldn't see over my shoulder if she jumped. I remained silent until she pushed me, at which point I had reached my limit of Her-Being-a-Bitch. I pushed back, and I turned around to her and said "I can see over everyone's head. There is NO room to move or we would." And she opened her mouth to argue when the doors started closing on her and she too was forced back. Victory! I smiled with satisfaction, and I'm sure she saw.

At the next stop, I found my way into a corner so I could ride the rest of the way relatively undisturbed. Things got better from there until I realized how behind I was. So I finally get to work and looked at my cell phone clock: 9:40. Impossible! Forty minutes late when I was supposed to be on time! Early even! Rage!

Whatever.

So I get to my big old work area and turn on my computer and wait for it to power up when I notice something is wrong. It's so quiet. Oh, so quiet. So I looked around to realize that I was totally alone. My entire office of like 20 people was completely deserted. The tumbleweed blew silently by as I thought "What in the hell is going on?" So I look around. The fast cataloging unit is empty too. "What day is it? Is it Saturday?" But I realized it couldn't be or I'd have woken up with the guy I'm seeing. (This was seriously my rationale.) Finally I ran into Nancy, who works in neither unit, but in the area of both. I said to her "Where did the library go?" Apparently there was a meeting I was never told about because I am not on some special listserv that I should have automatically been put on. The entire professional and support staff (including Nancy) knew about it. But by this point it was 9:50. The meeting ended at 10:30. I wasn't about to show up halfway through, even if I knew where in the hell the auditorium was. Oooh, I was aggravated. Nancy assured me that the meeting was optional and showed me the itenerary that was e-mailed to everyone (else) and I just thought "This looks like a waste of time, if this were really optional, nobody would go. I'm probably required to be there and will get fired." Still, I opted out. Oh well.

So I'm here at my desk in my lonely office. I have cataloged one thing and spent the rest of the time writing this, which was first an e-mail to that guy I'm seeing, now adapted for the big screen in this blog entry. This morning sucks.

Oh, and speaking of rage, I want to share a poem that I find to be a masterpiece of the written word. It was written by a composer after a movement of a piece. The movement was called 'Rage.' So is the poem. I think it speaks for itself:

Rage

No more sweet songs for me.
You cut the tree that held my nest-
You burned the brush that fed my young-
Your metal monsters killed my mate,
smashing her to the street,
chasing me when I tried to fly to her, to comfort...
No more sweet songs for me.
I'm small and weak,
but not my rage.
Ruin the world!
Destroy yourselves!
No more sweet songs for me!
Listen each night as you try to sleep
and hear my new song:
damn you humans, damn you.
Damn you. Damn you. DAMN YOU!

David L. Adams - Judith's Dream

My favorite part is when the bird screams "Damn you!" The part where the bird is run over by a truck is pretty good too. I think we should all be nicer to birds and nature.