B

Hi ok so I'm going to tell you about the boy I am dating due to the ungodly amount of pressure he is putting on me (i.e. asking once while we were drunk when he makes it into my blog.)

Usually people don't ever make it into my blog (at least not early on) until something funny happens in which they are a major player, and I suppose one such occasion has presented itself. Basically the first night I came back to his place, his temp roommate was there sleeping in his bed and so we woke him up and then fast forward 3 minutes and my boy goes into the bathroom and I try to impress his dog with my charisma and spunk and wind up flat on my stomach on the floor with a major headache and bleeding from the chin right in front of the temp roommate, who makes no offer to help and just kinda stands there. It was embarassing and horrible. I didn't tell you about it for that reason.

But right, back to it, basically I don't talk about love life stuff here but... well he's nice and I like him and his face smelled really good today for some reason. Also I kinda owe it to him since in the space of like 2 weeks, I've gotten over $50 of free delicious chocolate products, not to mention lunch today, the promise of many home-cooked meals, a ticket to the Tony's, and a possible future almost free vacation to the British Isles barring swine flu, uncomfortable personal revelations, or the unlikely event of severe sexual incompatibility. So even though I have a long history of collecting free swag from even the most insignificant liaisons, the amount of sugar I have consumed makes me think the least I can do is tell you his name, which is B. Sweet B.

Ok so obviously his name is B only as much as The Architect's name is The Architect, which is not at all, but that's what you get.

Sweet B because his job is pretty much "culinary tour guide", or more specifically "guy who gives chocolate tours of New York and teaches people stuff about the history of the places and how everything is made and blahdee blah blah blah." I imagine people eat a lot of chocolate on these tours too. Maybe I should call him Dia-B-tes.

Anyway here he is with his walleyed dog Vernon, the one I failed to impress:

His walleyed dog Vernon is named Vernon like Vernon Dursley from Harry Potter so we like that. Also, B wants to learn things from me, and the things he wants to learn about are opera and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which are the only things I know how to talk about anyway.

Right and he's from the south and kinda short and kinda smiley and he has awesome friends (so far) except for that one and he'll do stuff like make homemade dumplings for no reason at all, just to eat them it's so weird.

Right so there you have it: your incoherent and entirely uninformative character profile of Sweet B. The moral of the story is we're dating the end.

Like, a lot. The end.