To My Underpants

Alright, Underpants, I'm warning you! You tricked me into thinking your luck had kicked in by causing there to be two delicious chocolate cupcakes waiting at the lunch place for Deb and me, but when we went to eat them, they were overbaked! And then I bit my lip and was bleeding.

I shouldn't get so angry. Perhaps you are doing your best, Underpants. When I put you on this morning, I noticed there was a slight tear in the seam of the elastic band because I am such a cow. I know that must be really difficult to cope with, so I'm not mad. And I still have faith that you'll come through eventually. You have 10 good hours left before I strip you off, crawl into bed, and evaluate my day. Hopefully we can put this all behind us.

I meant this to be whimsical, but I started bitching again, sorry...

C'mon, Lucky Spiderman Underpants! Do your stuff!

Today I am wearing my Lucky Spiderman Underpants, my favorite article of clothing upon which I have just bestowed the honor of capital letters. When I wear my Lucky Spiderman Underpants (not to be confused with Lousiana State University) everything goes well all day! Today, they are failing me.

First, I had trouble getting out of bed, which, to be fair, is not the fault of the LSU because I was not wearing them at the time. Then I stepped on my cat's tail, which I suppose we will also not blame on the shortcomings of the LSU because neither my cat nor I were wearing them then either.

But since dressing: 1) I ripped a page in my book because I turned it too strongly (I don't know my own power) and 2) we had another morale-boosting impromptu meeting with my boss, this time about how "certain people" have been telling him some of us "abuse" our break and lunch privileges. First of all, certain people is so obviously this one guy, and you could tell because 1) he looked awkward when this was being said and 2) he has no social skills and he knows it.

Ok, maybe it's not that one guy, that's not really fair to assume. (Lots of unfairness and misappropriation of blame today, have you noticed?)

The point is, we all hate our jobs. We all hate the way things are handled around here. Morale is at an all-time low, and now we're being hounded about a problem that isn't real. Fine, maybe I take 30-minute breaks instead of 20 sometimes. Maybe one day I'll go to lunch at 1 and the next day at 1:15. Am I the fucking Productivity Anti-Christ? Am I missing crucial 2:15 impromptu meetings where other pressing matters like this are discussed? I submit that I am not.

I also submit that the biggest hit to my productivity in the past 6 months has been due to me hating my job. When I'm in a good mood, I'll put on a podcast and WHOOSH I just cataloged the entire library. Today, I am in a shitty mood, as I usually am at work these days. Today, it is more like WHOOSH I just cataloged another negative emotion for my psychological archive, drew an inspirational post-it, wrote in my blog, called my mom to bitch about things to her, wrote an e-mail to my librarian friend to share the frustration, and maybe got around to some work by accident.

Why is it so difficult for management to realize their employees are people, and people work best when they're allowed to do things their way and not treated like naughty children?

Now if you'll excuse me, my Lucky Spiderman Underpants and I are 3 minutes late for lunch, and I would hate to be one of the reasons this library system is falling apart at the seams.