I named my penis!
Yeah, welcome to Douchebag Blog, I am your host. Naming your penis is retarded, mostly because most people give their penises stupid names like Spike or name them after themselves. I even had a guy once invoke the name of his penis during sex, which has got to be the biggest turn-off of all time.
Anyway, I'm not like that, I gave my penis and awesome name and I will never say it at inappropriate times, nor will I think it makes me manlier. My penis' new name is Ogleboss.
If you keep up with my deluge of comments (because of immense popularity) you know that that's the name a 4-year-old gave to my mini-slinky. Matthew writes:
That's great that you let a 4 year old name your cock.
That's not how it went down. Basically, the kid named the slinky and then stretched it out as far as he cool and started saying "Look how long I can get! I am the longest in the world! Oh yeah! Oh yeah!"
It was totally disturbing, but it was then that my brain said "It is come. The name of your penis shall be Ogleboss the Transformer."
The Transformer because my penis is really tiny when it's not all big.
Anyway, now I am a douchebag too and must find further ways to exercise my douchebaggery.
Ogleboss likes the way you move tonight.