Philadelphia is the topic

I dunno but basically I was in Philadelphia all last week for a conference. I didn't see much of the city, but it's not one I particularly need to visit again. Sorry, Philadelphia.

Here are some crappy iPhone pictures I took and then ran through that Instamatic app that's so popular now because there's no point in doing art if it doesn't look the same as everyone else's.

I took that one while waiting for a trolley with this kid I met while wasting an afternoon in the hotel lounge. It was kinda nuts, but he's got this gregarious charm that makes you forget that you're totally uptight with new people. He sat across from me to charge his phone, we started chatting, and 5 minutes later after I told him all my secrets I was riding the subway to the north part of town to ride one of Philadelphia's old street cars. It wasn't a date (we both have lovely boyfriends), but if it were, it would have been a pretty good one.

The trolley took us through some crappy neighborhoods, but what Philadelphia lacks in Stuff I Wanna Live Around, it makes up for in Stuff That's At Least Cool To Look At. Most of the ride was through Fishtown. ><}}}*>

Aside from conference stuff and the meeting of some lovely new professional contacts, that story's kind of the best thing I came away from the conference with. Well... that and a new affinity for Women Cops of Cincinnati acquired through a 4-hour marathon on TLC. Anyway the guy lives in Jersey, so hopefully we will be besties now if I ever remember to e-mail him when I'm not doing something else like blogging for you and only you.

Don't look directly at that one. The discerning eye will notice that this picture of Earth's yellow sun (and the previous of Earth's yellow tattoo parlor) neither are perfect squares, nor look like they were taken by a douchebag with ball-mangling jeggings. That's because I used Photoshop Express for the iPhone, another fun gadget this guy introduced me to.

Uh-oh.

To conclude, it is impossible to visit Philly without having that Flipadelphia chant from Always Sunny running through your head the entire time (6 days).

Dinner for Poor People

I was supposed to have plans tonight but they broke and I was stuck in the house with like $5 to my name, frozen meat, and nothing coherent to make a meal with until I found brown eggs and made

eggs with salsa arugula and some cheese and peanut butter and jelly. I saw it on the food channel.

Anyway my plans tonight were supposed to be with my friend Mike so in his absence I decided to finally process the photos I took from our trip upstate to take photos. He let me use his cool lenses and filters, so this was an exercise in experimentation both in shooting and post-processing so it's not my fault if they're just boring pictures of waterfalls, I'm showing them all to you anyway.

First some IMPORTANT FACTS about Kaaterskill Falls.

What this deluxe information plaque doesn't tell you is that if you have to pee 5 minutes after you got there because you didn't go at a sensible time, you have to climb this huge hill to hide behind a tree and you'll slip and slide down the entire thing on your butt along with like 3 huge rocks that your friend will have to avoid so they don't kill him like in some Atari 2600 game. Ok time for nature.

That pic turned out more purple than I'd like but I already closed Photoshop.

Sorry hobo I didn't see you there trying to shower MY TOTAL BAD!

Babbling brook: "Blah blah blah."

That one would be my favorite if I framed it a little lower.

Anyway that's all and also it wouldn't be a photo trip if I didn't secretly photograph some straight guy I thought was hot.

Here he is looking to the future.

Here he is breaking up with his future because she is a nag and he wants to be with me.

In Which I Finally Realize My Name Rhymes with Snot

Y'know what's horrible? Watching your body slowly break down from disease until you waste away to nothing and all that's left is a shrivelly, bald, smelly mass of bones that doesn't even look like you! Has anybody ever experienced that?

Well I am right now! I have a cold. Two hours ago, I did not have a cold. Clearly, this is the end.

Usually when I get sick, it happens over night when my body is not paying attention. Rarely does an illness have the chutzpah to attack when I am at the ready. And NEVER has it had the AUDACITY to try and infiltrate my defences with the MIDNIGHT DARK KNIGHT PREMIERE JUST HOURS AWAY! This cold has some serious brass testes, which I will CRUSH if it in any way inhibits my enjoyment of tonight's blockbuster hit! I hope it's reading this.

Side note: Call me crazy, but isn't the luckiest koala in the world one that did NOT get hit by a car going 60 mph?

BEHOLD THE CITY!

So I have this new plan to get to know this city I've lived in for over two years and still know practically nothing about. Part of that plan entails exploring different places I've never been. Last Saturday I set out early and had a perfect day doing that.

Ok, first I went the The Kitchen to see this art exhibit, which was kinda bad because none of the abstract art had any sort of description, so I had no idea what the eff I was looking at. A few people meandered in, but nobody stayed long. People forget that most abstract and modern art doesn't really stand on its own. There weren't even titles, so I named them myself.

Hanging Disruption

Room of Disruption

The dreaded Box of Disruption

Ok now you know all about the future.

Also on Saturday I went to Battery Park because I had never been there before. It's pretty cool but a pain in the ass to get to considering the billions of places with trees I can walk to in 10 minutes. Let's see.

Here's some boats.

Here's some weird purple flowers.

Here's some birds eating high cholesterol foods.

Here's the time.

Here's some reality.

In conclusion, Battery Park City is just as touristy as everything else people outside the city can see on a map and say "I've heard of that", so if you're going to bring your camera, make sure you wear something "New Yorky" so other locals can identify you and not try to hit you on their rollerblades.

Ok, I gotta go. All this typing is making my nose run harder.