Check out this e-mail I just got at work:
During the recent maintenance of the 2nd floor staff lavatories, which have been experiencing back ups, facilities removed several items such as: a library I.D. card, plastic utensils, fruit(lemons, limes) and a pair of beige panty hose from a toilet in the south staff lavatory. In order to provide continuous service, please refrain from depositing anything other than material for which the toilets are intended.
This has served to confirm my theory that librarians are insane, socially retarded, and unfit to live in civilized society. They flush fruit down the toilet. Don't you love it?