I'm dating a weirdo--Hey CB!--a weirdo who dislikes meat at that, but I did manage to get past his vegetarian deficiencies by enlightening him to the thrill of my favorite food that I've never had: the turducken. He sounded excited and insisted I write a blog entry with the title this one has, which he made up.
The turducken gets a bit of press every now and then, so you may know of it, but for the uninitiated, a turducken is a turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken and then roasted. The birds are usually deboned. Observe:
Does that not look amazing? I imagine it being wet and fatty, much like having sex with me in the shower. Dear God, it makes me hungry. I don't even know how people can eat plain old boring turkey on Thanksgiving anymore.
There are variations on the turducken such as further stuffing the duck with sausage. Or, you can make a turduckencorpheail, which is a turducken with a cornish game hen, a pheasant, and a quail inside. It's like those nested babushka dolls, except you eat the turducken instead of taking it apart, getting bored, and being mad you received a shitty toy when all you wanted was a Wii. The point is, meaty bird animals can be combined in any number of ways. It's a medium of exquisite artistry completely lost on you hippie vegetarians.
I'd also like to draw your attention to the mother lode of birds in birds in birds: the Rôti Sans Pareil, or bustergophechiduckneaealcockidgeoverwingailusharkolanbler. It also goes by the name I just made up: Turduckenzilla. You can read the recipe here in Graham Greene's incomprehensible introduction to some weird recipe book. Apparently this dish is an aphrodisiac, which is just what every family Thanksgiving needs. The best part is that lots of those birds are endangered species, which makes juicy just a little bit juicier.
If Turduckenzilla is too much for your family to handle this holiday, I might suggest the simpler goose/pheasant/duck/another duck dish "Gophuckaduck."
Ok, that was a stretch. I'm done now. Have a good holiday everyone, even though mine will be better!