It's that time of year again. I need a valentine. It's extremely important and the source of much stress. Last year, after searching real hard with no success, I expressed my sadness and lameness in my livejournal and got a last-minute valentine who I had never met. It was true love.
This year, we'll build on that success. I'm starting early. I want to see how many valentines I can get.
To review, let's look at that fateful livejournal entry from last year. Here it is. Check out cello_excel_o's comments on the bottom. He is Hayden, and he was my valentine.
I actually e-mailed him and we became friendly, though now we haven't talked in a good long while. Best valentine ever.
Please be my valentine! Apply by leaving a comment or e-mailing me or something. Here's the criteria you must meet:
1. Must be male. I know, that excludes half of everyone. I may except female valentines, but they will not count towards my modest goal of 3. (Gay or bisexual males preferred, but not required... y'know, so we match.)
2. I'd prefer to not know you. Valentine's Day is not about sympathy valentines from your friends. It's also not about love. Not this year. This year, Valentine's Day is about me getting attention from strangers like that boy with the gorgeous black eyes at the airport yesterday. Sure, the attention was probably "What are you staring at?" but at least I got it, and more importantly, you didn't.
3. You can't have a boyfriend. That counts as a sympathy valentine because you have a real valentine waiting to wine and dine you on the 14th (which sucks as a Tuesday this year.) I only want valentines that want me alone, which brings me to number
4. I must be your only valentine even though you will hopefully not be my only valentine. Sound unfair? Life is unfair.
5. You can't be my mom, ok Mom? Not only would that violate all of the rules listed above, but it would be totally lame. No offense, but unless you're ditching your Vegas vacation to visit me with a bottle of wine, a bag of Dove Promises, and a Molly Ringwald movie on V-Day, I don't need a Mom-valentine.
6. Hotness, intelligence, musicianship skills prefered but not required. Cellists, tortured writers, and soccer stars given first priority. All others must wait in the queue marked "Our careers are not sexy."
Let the applications roll in. :-
Hayden, if you're reading this, I want to be your valentine again. No need to apply. Just check yes or no and please let it be yes.
(x-posted in my livejournal, and probably my myspace blog even though I've never used that before)
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